Hello there, I am new to this forum, really just posting out there to get some different opinions and ideas on what I am experiencing on a day to day basis. I’m a 37 year old male, left secondary school in year 7 due to bullying and not had any real education since. It wasn’t all the bullying that made me come to the decision that me and school were incompatible but it went a long way in that choice, I refused to go back. I was put on anti depressants ect but every time I tried to attend the school I would freak and withdraw from those trying to help. Anyway, that’s the rough background but in my adult life up until the last few years I never considered myself autistic until I read about it. I’m very social avoidant, dislike change unless I decide to, have a strong dislike for people making plans that involve me because I probably don’t want to go, avoid eye contact, that’s way too personal. I thrive on routine because it makes me feel safe like nothing bad will happen and it makes me feel good about myself also because I can repeat those good days where it’s just routine. I’m told I’m also very righteous? I mean I did want to be Batman of that helps but people said it wouldn’t really be possible which kinda made me have to grow up a bit. I suffer from anxiety and depression pretty much daily, I mean it’s always there really, no cure. Even at my work which is in an office environment I feel seriously overwhelmed, I’ve been there almost 20 years but my colleagues are still strangers to me and I’m almost frozen to my chair at times thinking that if I don’t put 110% in I’m gonna be looked down upon or looked at badly even though I know I work hard. I think I will seek out a diagnosis . Thank you for reading and look forward to the replies,
