I live abroad and occasionally return to my home country, but my extended family is spread across multiple provinces/cities. I typically have limited time and finances, so I can’t see everyone in a single trip. This has led to frustration from relatives who feel excluded when I don’t visit them.
What I’ve tried so far:
- Prioritizing visits to older relatives or those nearest my hometown or stopover locations.
- Explaining that my trips are short due to work/vacation constraints.
- Notifying only the directly involved family members (e.g., attending a funeral without telling everyone), which later caused upset when others found out.
My goal is to maintain positive relationships and manage expectations respectfully. I’d like to avoid causing additional hurt feelings when time or budget limitations keep me from visiting everyone.
- What communication strategies can help me set realistic expectations with distant relatives?
- How can I acknowledge past disappointments (e.g., the funeral trip) and prevent similar misunderstandings in the future?
- What interpersonal approaches or boundary-setting techniques have worked for others in similar multi-city visit situations?
By focusing on strategies for clear communication and boundary-setting, I hope to reduce conflict and show my extended family that I still value our relationships, even if I can’t see everyone on every trip.
