• Replies 4 replies
  • Subscribers 82 subscribers
  • Views 313 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Struggle to connect with close friends

Daisy1994

Hi 

I’m new here, I was late diagnosed at 30 as autistic and adhd - which was only 6 months ago, although I was aware I was autistic before this.

Does anybody else really struggle to connect with even really close friends they have known all their life? I know they love me, but at the same time I feel as though I’m always the odd one out (I mean I probably am due to being autistic and they’re not) I really struggle to get past little comments or how they do things if different to me, when we’re all together sometimes I have a great time! More often than not actually… but for days replay the conversations and overthink things I’ve said etc. I often don’t socialise or attend things because it’s so draining on my mental load, I’m also a mum of two and feel my poor partner tries his best to understand (he is also adhd) but wanted to see if there is some support or advice out there on this?

I often second guess myself a lot and in the past has caused low self esteem - I’m still not convinced my friends like me which is just bizarre but it’s true. Am I the only who struggles on this?? 

xxx

Parents

  • No you are not alone. I have trouble with wondering if my friends like me, although that's mainly because most of my friends eventually lost interest in me and didn't contact me any more. My partner is the only person I've ever felt a deep connection with and who I know really cares about me. 

Reply

  • No you are not alone. I have trouble with wondering if my friends like me, although that's mainly because most of my friends eventually lost interest in me and didn't contact me any more. My partner is the only person I've ever felt a deep connection with and who I know really cares about me. 

Children
  • in reply to Lotus

    Yes, I find my friends don’t invite me as much now I’m diagnosed but it’s not a bad thing as such, in the past I’d have forced myself to go and felt uncomfortable the whole time (or got really drunk and embarrassed myself). 

    That being said, because I like structure and have to plan even a coffee trip, a lot of my friends are like “lets play it by ear” which to me means it’s not happening - can be frustrating and I find Myself basing my social life around my partner and my mom who is also autistic. It’s such a conflicting feeling right because we want to have friends but find socialising difficult. (Thanks for responding btw, appreciated!)