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Common advice is to build connection with other ND people. How?

Cloud44

Little grumble here, but a lot of people say I should try to find more neurodiverse people so socialise with, but how do I do this? It's nice chatting in online communities but it's not the same as real life connections. A social group of likeminded people would be amazing, but there's nothing where I live, it's all aimed at children or adults with learning disabilities. I would love to meet other late diagnosed, highly masking adults who can help each other to unmask. Something simple like a coffee or summer meet ups in parks, but nothing. There's such a gap in the 'market' or whatever you'd call it. Shame really, because a common question for many people who are trying to unmask seems to be, where can I meet likeminded people?

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  • Cloud44 said:
    a lot of people say I should try to find more neurodiverse people so socialise with

    Would these be neurotypical people by any chance?

    i'm not aware of any groups whose purpose if to chat with neurodiverse people - groups tend to need a shared interest to focus on and this is the cement that holds the disparate personalities together.

    Groups based around any of your special interests are probably the best way to interact with others but their ND knowledge is going to be variable.

    Some groups (IT interests, trains etc) tend to have a highish proportion of other NDs in them although they are often with their own challenges in socialising so it may not meet your needs.

    Cloud44 said:
    There's such a gap in the 'market'

    I agree - there is certainly scope for someone to arrange something around this in the bigger population centers but I'm not sure how to get NTs to attend. What is in it for them?

    I think a good option would be for a ND who has mastered their social skills to be a wingman for a few other NDs and go to an event where there are shared interests being talked about (comicon type events seem an obvious one) and help their group practice and experience the social interactions while providing a safety blanket in case they start to burn out or need some extra support.

    I do something similar here in Brazil for kids approachin school leaving age (18 typically) and help them with some life skills and advice / practice / roleplay to make the transition to higher education or work easier for them.

    It is a coaching role with some mentoring and everything has to be customised to the specific needs of the individuals in the group.

    One good thing that comes from it is I get them to form a mutual support group for life beyone school so they can share their experiences and have a group who really "gets" them.

    I wonder if we could set something up in the UK?

  • in reply to Iain

    Thanks, I think maybe I phrased my question incorrectly. I mean like a group for late diagnosed neurodivergent people to meet and share their experiences, unmask and just be ourselves without judgement from neurotypical people. There is nothing like that near me, maybe it's different in other places. I guess NTs get the joy of socialising with each other, but I don't enjoy their type of socialising (lots of small talk, girly giggling, chats about TikTok and reality TV). I'm always having to smile and pretend to enjoy these types of things but I'd love to be able to be real with likeminded people.

    What you're doing for the young adults sounds great. 

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  • in reply to Iain

    Thanks, I think maybe I phrased my question incorrectly. I mean like a group for late diagnosed neurodivergent people to meet and share their experiences, unmask and just be ourselves without judgement from neurotypical people. There is nothing like that near me, maybe it's different in other places. I guess NTs get the joy of socialising with each other, but I don't enjoy their type of socialising (lots of small talk, girly giggling, chats about TikTok and reality TV). I'm always having to smile and pretend to enjoy these types of things but I'd love to be able to be real with likeminded people.

    What you're doing for the young adults sounds great. 

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