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Formality

Deleted User

I realised only relatively recently that I interact rather formally with people I don’t know well.

As I’ve said on here before, I need time to build a mental model of other people before I can be comfortable interacting with them. In the meantime I must come across as very stiff, because I’m being incredibly careful not to overstep any boundaries or make any assumptions.

But this must be one of the things that hampers my efforts to make friends. How can other people be comfortable around someone who is stiff and formal? Nevermind flirting!

Do any of you do this?

Parents

  • I think people often want to move into familiarity to quickly, I prefer a handshake to a hug on the first few meetings, unless I feel an immediate bond with someone. Not all cultures are the same the French and the Indians are more formal with people they don't know, the Indians I've met, some now family, are formal the first few times they meet you then once they find they like you, welcome you with open arms and are some of the warmest people I've ever come across.

    Maybe asking open questions about others, whilst not saying so much about yourself would be easier? People are almost always more willing to talk about themselves than about random stuf that can be contravercial.

Reply

  • I think people often want to move into familiarity to quickly, I prefer a handshake to a hug on the first few meetings, unless I feel an immediate bond with someone. Not all cultures are the same the French and the Indians are more formal with people they don't know, the Indians I've met, some now family, are formal the first few times they meet you then once they find they like you, welcome you with open arms and are some of the warmest people I've ever come across.

    Maybe asking open questions about others, whilst not saying so much about yourself would be easier? People are almost always more willing to talk about themselves than about random stuf that can be contravercial.

Children
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