first post

****I'm not english speaker

I want to know, I can't go to terpaist. 

I did all the web test, I read, hear, yes it was in my childhood, efect my life, the question is- what.

must say I don't want to change, I never did. I'm not like others - they have problem, they should try to change. I have almost every deatail I read, but not problem to understand jokes.. I read somewhere that some aut' have problem to reconize faces - I have this, I can't remember faces. I will lost in my way, I will drive the same place and will lost the way. it's funny. no friends, eating same food every day, all my life someone will say you speak too load or too quiet, I speak too much - but isn't it becouse I have no one to talk?

after I read and read I notice I speak like I'm in a tv series. I copy others to know how should I talk or write. I remeber people asking if everything ok "becouse you don't look at me". I learn I need to look at them. I feel and behave like a child. I never knew how people know what to do or say (becouse thay have friend??), why they want to do. 

ect

I'm not sad. till I read. I wish I never read about auti' becouse now I wonder what the others think about me. I start notice things, instead thinking I'm special. I can't imagen anymore.

I will never ask for "help", why are you agree to be in lower class? can it be something else, what if every person in the world will check imself maybe it's fil to all? whats the big issu to speak load or quiet... 

  • Thanks for your comment.
    I took all the tests available online, sometimes higher, sometimes lower, but within the range.
    I know English. I don't speak it well. There's also no problem with Google translating a web page.

    These questionnaires are not an unambiguous measure. Usually when you need to diagnose something, any type. You have to look at the person. Sometimes the body tells us almost everything. We control the mind but not the body.
    The questionnaires also don't make a differential diagnosis. Have you tried an ADD questionnaire? OCD?

    And what about life circumstances. This is a question that keeps going through my mind.
    If I take an extreme example on purpose: a child who you don't want to play with. He will spend more time with his parents or give them more meaning. The parents speak a higher language than children. The child will speak like them. Socially, he has been rejected, so automatically from now on he will think before he approaches someone. It will snowball. He will also spend more time alone, so he will develop other hobbies and focus on them. The longer he is alone, the less familiar he will be with the social language of his peers, the extended language that also includes behavior. The two social lines will become increasingly distant, ...

    Sorry, that wasn't the question at all...
    I took the tests and there are also pre-translated versions.
    And
    Go ahead and try to guess what the language is, I think it's pretty easy.

    Many times those who are familiar with the subject can shed light on something that doesn't appear in the questionnaires, or can describe how a question is expressed in reality. Like the question "Do you enjoy ___". The meaning is enjoying it at the moment or in an ideal situation would you enjoy it. 

    I don't know why I wrote so much about a simple question.

  • Thank you for your reply. 

    Did you take this test?

    https://psychology-tools.com/test/autism-spectrum-quotient

    It's called the AQ50 and if you get a high score you are almost certainly autistic. This is used in UK by the professionals who assess people for autism. I don't know if it's available in other languages - what language do you speak?

    If you are still not sure whether you are autistic, you can still talk to us and ask more questions. Everyone is welcome here.

  • Hi, thank you for your reference.
    I will write with Google Translate.

    why they want to do -- why do they even want to do all this

    I start notice things, instead thinking I'm special -- I started to notice things about myself, from what I read. Noticing something is like suddenly getting punched in the stomach. It makes you stop. And what I meant was that before I didn't think everything was normal, but I knew I was a little different. Now I notice things and it's like getting punched in the face. Being different can depend on the environment, on the mood. Now I'll always think the problem is just me.

    I can't imagen anymore -- 

    I have no explanation for this. But not to be like others.
    I don't want to think that everyone who said something about me was right.

    I must say, there was a time when I was in a management position. I was good at it. People liked me. I knew all along, you don't have to read about autism for that, that they are not friends in the normal sense of friends.

    Back to imagining, I always dreamed of superpowers...

    what if every person in the world will check imself maybe it's fil to all-- That's a typo. I meant fit.

    Why would I be upset, I was too lazy to translate :) even now it's Google and not GPT.
    I'm not sure it's autism. That's why I wrote the sections I saw that were appropriate. Maybe from experience here someone can ask a question that is essential to know.

  • Hi Pupi and welcome. As a non English speaker you did well writing how you feel about autism. There were only a few sentences that are difficult to understand:

     

    why they want to do.

    - do you mean that you don't understand why people do some things? Or do you not understand what they want?

    I start notice things, instead thinking I'm special

    - Does this mean that you now think you are special because you notice things that are different in you than in other people? Or did you think you were special before, but now think you are not?

    I can't imagen anymore.

    - What can't you imagine? That you are the same as everyone else?

    what if every person in the world will check imself maybe it's fil to all?

    - The word fil is not English. Did you mean that maybe it fits all, that everyone might think they are autistic if they do the tests and read about autism?

    Please do not be upset by my questions - I just want to fully understand, I am not criticising you.

    I understand what you mean about feeling different after realising you are autistic. But we are not "lower class" - we are just different. But everyone has different personalities, skills and things they have problems with. I also agree that it should not be a problem if someone talks loudly or quietly. 

    I hope that this community forum helps you.