working on change in core features of autism - is it worth the effort?

That’s exactly why I despise the term “woke”. It originated in the civil rights movement and meant as much as being “politically aware and awake”. It was a well-meant advice for those discriminated against to look out for the political situation. 
Nowadays it is used by the more conservative fraction to polarise and the liberal fractions often use it as a knockout-argument. It now serves more as a conversation-stopper than -starter and that’s just sad. One would hope that we surpassed the point of devision by pure linguistics.

I couldn't agree more about people being indoctrinated and I feel that some of this "wokeness" seems to be deliberately trying to set people against others.

As a woman in my sixties, it sometimes feels like us older people are being told that our values are outdated. But ever since I learnt about sexuality in my teens, I've never had a problem with people who are gay, and I've always felt the same about people of other races and skin colours - it's what's on the inside that matters. I don't need to be lectured by woke youngsters about acceptance - I was taught to "love my neighbour as myself" as a child over 50 years ago, and treating people equally is part of who I am anyway.

I'm pleased to hear that, and I hope it gives you a sense of being valued and belonging.

I'm just curious - would your church community have any problems with you being in a relationship with, or living with, another Christian man? (Sorry, I can't remember if you've ever told us whether you are in a relationship or single) 

The ONLY advanatage I've really derived from my diagnosis is that my O/H no longer shouts at me for the Autistic parts and our understanding of each other is better. 

A good example of undiagnosed Autism being really annoying to NT's is the apparent "deafness" some of us exhibit, and for which as a child I received much ear syringing and vists to the doctor. Whereas the simple fact is that as an autistic kid (or adult) I can get so immersed in my own little world that I miss the first few sentences of conversation. 

Autism apparently presents to the audience as "Overweening selfishness", an accusation that I heard a LOT as a child and younger man, and which never felt quite right given how my accusers would act.....

While I understand the position of some in Irish Catholic patriot groups against being gay, as the modern LGBT community is incredibly globalist leaning, leftist and woke, their behavior is still not acceptable at a time when we need unity more than ever and frankly, with so many being so manipulated, brainwashed and indoctrinated, when it comes to our supporters “beggars can’t be choosers” at a critical point in our history, both for our respective nations and our world in general - while being an older and conservative-minded Irish gay man who is not part of the woke LGBT insanity, I am also a traditional Catholic and Irish patriot 

The Traditional Catholic Church (Mass of the Ages - Mass in Latin) does comprise of a lot of older and conservative-minded gay men who have left the gay community for much the same reasons that I did, where some of us are involved in “gays against groomers” and we are accepted by our traditional church community and we are part of traditional Catholic groups like the SSPX and FSSP, Voice of the Family, TFP, ISCC, Legion of Mary, among many others 

There are already many very good answers here! What one could draw from them is, as you’ve already said, there’s no definite answer. Since there’s already much high quality advice here I’m just gonna give an idea for a mental path to go down.

Phased said:

Potentially missing out on experiences and insights that would enhance and make life more meaningful

I often struggle with the thought of missing out on something. The question is, when am I actually missing out on positive experiences? Since I’m still quite young, things like getting invited to a party are a big piece of social life. I barely do get invited and whenever there’s a party basically everyone around me goes to, I feel utterly alone and left out. But then again; why? I don’t like those people too much and honestly? Parties are always stressful, loud and full of opportunities to embarrass oneself. My mind is currently trying to wrap itself around the thought that it might not be too bad to not get invited to something I wouldn’t really want to attend anyway. 
There certainly are situations where you’re actually gonna miss out on stuff you’d like, but how often is this actually the case and how often do you just feel obliged to want something you wouldn’t actually enjoy? 

Understood - the key bit I'm picking up on here is the recognising bit...  then being able to do something about it.

I have come to the conclusion that my masking and camouflaging are as inherent in me as my autism. Since my autism self-realisation and subsequent diagnosis, I have been kinder on myself when I recognise that I'm not coping well with a social situation or sensory overload and now feel less inhibited from getting away, if I can. However, I still abide by societal (neurotypical) norms of behaviour when in public. Doing so causes me little or no distress, it is just exhausting to socialise for too long or with too many people. Fitting in with expected behaviour has positive benefits, as neurotypicals are in the vast majority and, for good or ill, dictate social norms.

understood I think :-) interactional analysis is a good way strategy thanks for picking up on that  :-)  the less energy there is the less one has to use for cognitive analysis... and the less one has to be open minded to others.... and the less one has to be open minded to oneself as well perhaps... the strategy of preserving oneself as capable interactive individual relies upon being able to be aware of this as a factor and take behavioral steps to shepherd it perhaps? :-)

I don't go through interactions regarding them as neurotypical or not. They are taken on individual basis, of "interaction". There IS the cognitive working out most of the time, regardless of the other person's brain wiring. Although some are easier than others. I find what helps is trying to be open minded of others. Acceptance of situations, self and others rather than having problems with individuals. However this is constant work in practise and also takes energy.... which is often in short supply!!

good advice - thanks :-)

Good to learn that you enjoy life - long may you continue to :-)

GCHQ? yes my daughter has a fellow ASD friend who is not allowed to say where they work...  Hehe despite a reasonably deep background in martial arts I suspect my personal approach would be to try to educate them into submission!  Thanks - yes in my heart not fitting in is the best me too - will work on getting the get up and go to find that place :-)  More power to people who open their hearts and minds to others, thanks :-)

I believe that honesty is the best policy. Just to be clear, that doesn't mean you have to tell everyone everything about yourself - we are all allowed a private life. What I mean is that I found it was better to:

1. Be honest with myself. I examined what I wanted in life, and how I was acting, to discern what was the real me and what I had been doing to fit in or please others, and decided what I wanted to change.

2. Be honest with others, by explaining how certain things affect me and why I struggle in certain situations.

It is possible to be polite and friendly while still being yourself. If I don't connect with someone or they treat me badly, I don't have anything to do with them (or if it happened with a colleague when I was working, I just interacted with them only when necessary and kept a polite distance) 

I'm not interested in social advancement, and I don't need lots of friends, so this works for me.

Thanks for your reply. Please permit me a joke: I've also come out as coming from Norfolk - I feel your pain :-) Seriously tho' I am almost  completely in agreement with your analysis.  I kindof had to go diagnostic for complicated reasons including pressure I was in at work.  My son warned me that it wouldn't change the way people treated me and he was almost right - except for the issues that you raise!  I listened to "soul music" on the radio earlier today and Bob Marley's "redemption song" was played.  I have always found it very moving and for one reason or another have always found my truest friends and allegiances among people who are repressed.  When the line came up "only ourselves can free our minds" I got another sense of why I love it :-)  The song ends on a surprisingly upbeat measure - maybe there's hope... One love.  All the best

Sorry to hear that. Do you have people at your church who care about and value you?

Many people post diagnosis also treat you “with kid gloves” because they see you as “getting the wrong end of the stick” (the emphasis on being just plain wrong and dysfunctional by reason of your diagnosis) and seek to discredit and undermine you at every opportunity post-diagnosis, which also gives them a “valid” “reason” to become super-critical of your every action in minute details, right down to the smallest most minor details and use this as an “excuse” to endlessly seek the intervention of third parties to “correct” those things that they do not “like” or otherwise “approve of” - an autism diagnosis reveals the true nature of some people’s true intentions and their hypocrisy, including when you “come out” as autistic, just like when you “come out” as gay (I’ve done both) 

Having been in that position of always being wrong, I really feel for you, it's hard to ignore when it's from people who should care for you and about you and for whom you care about. I think although it's hard, it's made me a stronger person and more able to stand up for myself and what I believe and the principles I hold. I try and avoid being confrontational about it, but I can be when I need to be, mostly though I use cognitive ineterview style of questions to help me understand another's viewpoint whilst not giving up my own. I can't say that it leads to less confrontation exactly, but it does put the conversation on a different footing, one thats often less hostile and more inquisitive.

Both before and after my later in life diagnosis of autism, I’ve experienced serious personal attacks from people in my immediate circle, especially from certain family members who have always supported the actions of bullies throughout my life, from childhood - such people have always regarded me as “dysfunctional” since childhood in some way, and have always used post-Vatican II Catholic Social Teaching to justify and excuse their abusive and bullying behaviour, regardless of my being raised an only child of “dysfunctional” parents (due to my parents own histories of the same or similar kinds of emotional abuse) or my being openly gay (and therefore too vocal for their liking) which is why I became a traditional Catholic - such people now believe that my diagnosis of autism now means that anything I have to say, feel, express or believe about anything on any given issue, because it now gives them the absolute right to automatically dismiss and invalidate anything I say as being “wrong” because it is deemed on a common sense basis that “I do not understand that I am wrong by default” and should just “sit down and stay quiet” because I should be “seen and not heard” and I therefore do not have any right to make any comments on any issues, because my points are deemed useless, therefore I do not have any right to form, have nor express any opinions nor make any comments on any issues, because I am deemed to be coming from an incorrect, malicious, intellectually dishonest, hypocritical standpoint of dysfunction and they alone are the real “experts” in everything