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Dating is so hard for Autistic people

AmyLR94

Why is it so hard to find someone genuine when it comes to dating Pensive.

I thought I would take the big step and join Tinder (again) and FB dating (again). Today I was speaking to someone on FB and he sounded nice and genuine, but something was off and he kept calling me babe and baby with kisses. Then he said he was thinking of be all day and then when I said if he could hold back from calling me baby and babe as I don’t know him that well, he deactivates he account after sending me a message saying “Take Care, your not the lady for me” *sighs*

I feel like I should just stay single and alone Pensive, it’s so hard to find someone.

I just want to feel loved and do all those couple things that everyone does SobSob x

UPDATE: Thank you to the people who have commented so far Relaxed️. I have deleted Tinder and FB Dating. I don’t think Dating apps are for me as I find it so hard to understand if someone is being genuine or just messing with my feelings.

I turned 30 this year so I wanted to actually find someone who would like me the way I am *sighs* but it’s difficult to find anyone genuine these days. Looks like I will be alone with pets for the rest of my life. 

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  • I honestly think that couple-dom is too difficult for me.

    I can meet someone and get along, fine. We can like each other, sure. But as things get more serious I find myself disliking any form of inauthenticity. This, as my past has shown, only generates bad feelings and upset, which I then don't 'let go'

    A completely, and permanently, authentic person I believe is near-on impossible in the neuro typical world, I think, and I know what you mean with what you say here

  • in reply to Literal_Joe
    Literal_Joe said:
    A completely, and permanently, authentic person I believe is near-on impossible in the neuro typical world

    When you say it like that it shows you are expecting the other person to be the way you want them to be but you are not willing to reciprocate and learn how to deal with some inauthenticity.

    Any relationship is a compromise from both sides if it is to work.

    I'm not having a go at you here by the way, just raising a discussion point.

    Literal_Joe said:
    This, as my past has shown, only generates bad feelings and upset, which I then don't 'let go'

    Have you tried any professional help on learning how to let go? I found it to be a tremdous help in forgiving and accepting my partners traits as she was able to do the same for me.

    It is difficult to be in a relationship but I found the rewards far outweighed the cost.

  • in reply to Iain

    But that's just it Iain, I can't deal with inauthenticity, I just can't.

    When I was diagnosed earlier this year it was recommended that I seek therapy, exactly as you suggest, and I have someone lined up to provide that. I'm currently going through some work issues, so I will tackle this once that is resolved 

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  • in reply to Iain

    But that's just it Iain, I can't deal with inauthenticity, I just can't.

    When I was diagnosed earlier this year it was recommended that I seek therapy, exactly as you suggest, and I have someone lined up to provide that. I'm currently going through some work issues, so I will tackle this once that is resolved 

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  • in reply to Literal_Joe
    Literal_Joe said:
    I can't deal with inauthenticity, I just can't

    As my therapist told me, "bulldroppings, what you are saying is you won't".

    I helps to understand that our resistance comes from our own barriers which can be overcome but we erect them because it is too uncomfortable to do.

    We often think in terms of black and white and this extends to considering things that are hard to do as being undoable.

    It is fine if you want to not do them, but realising it is a choice is more empowering I feel.