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Loneliness this Christmas

Saza

Hi,

I was reading a post recently. I realise that a lot of us here experience loneliness. Either sometimes or all the time. We find it hard to recognise where we have connections e.g. here. 

I'm wondering if anyone has any coping mechanisms in mind for Christmas loneliness and other struggles? 

I think I’m just feeling worried for us all! 

S

  • As a child, Christmas had a magical quality.  I was off school which was a godsend. I was fascinated by all the coloured lights. As a 52 Yr old, I take a step back from the madness. I tell my family to count me out of the 'buying stuff' insanity. Mostly I envy other  people being together and socialising. I wish I could do it without feeling totally fake, but I just can't and that's the loneliest bit of all. Feeling like a spare part. I'm glad it's all over. Going out for walks in the nearest forest helps me a bit. 

  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    The run up to Christmas is already insane since Halloween is over and then it’s full-on “Christmas” in shops - I was in the Trafford Centre the other week and I could not wait to get out of the main centre, yet even the Trafford Palazzo was just as bad and this area is normally quieter on the usually quietest day on Wed from 10am - 11am - same thing happened today in the Arndale Centre Tues 17th Dec from 10 am - 11am crowds were crazy 

  • in reply to Mark

    I know what you mean - just let it happen. It comes / it goes!

  • I treat myself to some books and some food that's unseasonal and I wouldn't usually buy at this time of year. My best xmas was the one I spent with just me and a cat, researching and writing my dissertation, it was peaceful and relaxed.

  • I just don't think about the fact that it's Christmas. I just treat Dec 24,25 and 26 like any other day. Not a great solution but I don't know what else to try.

  • in reply to Saza

    Interestingly enough, I was in my local Mc Donald’s yesterday and I overheard two girls from the outlet on a break chatting - it would appear that any staff member, including full time and permanent staff, that falls ill between 15th December and Christmas Day will get a final written warning as part of their disciplinary procedures for unauthorised absence, as the company says that any illness occurring during that time is automatically not deemed to be genuine - if I was their parents, I would be hopping mad at this, as the trade unions are as useless as a chocolate teapot and are allowing these miserable policies to happen, given my own 30 years in supermarket retailing 

  • in reply to IrishInManchesterUK

    Commercialism - so destructive. They think spectrum ppl  are out of touch - try a Christmas shopper! What normal is that to aspire to?

  • in reply to Deleted User

    :-( this is what I’m thinking -   Plan strategies to bring some light. Some treat/coping mechanisms/back ups etc 

  • in reply to Emmalephant

    I really like that and it’s good advice. I get quite sensitive and feel awkward around others at Christmas - for many years. Miserable! 

    not a bad idea to focus on doing things you like Thumbsup tone1 

  • Due to the fact that I still live with my parents and there’s family visiting, I’m not actually alone. Nonetheless, I still tend to feel lonely since I hate being around so much chaos and making conversation all day and therefore tending to withdraw myself. At the same time, everyone I would like to connect with is absorbed by their families. When that feeling of being left out due to my own sensitivities is getting too much, I like to imagine that the holidays are just like a long, quiet evening. One of these nights where you get to spent hours on the things you actually like to do without feeling guilty for not doing the things you’re supposed to do since all social demands suddenly vanish due to everyone being focused on their own stuff.  
    I don’t know if that helps and maybe I’m too young to give advice like this, but it can be helpful to see the things you love as company.

    This strategy is no stand-alone-strategy but combined with the other advise given already it might be a starting point.

  • What carries me through Christmas is my Catholic faith and truly realising and embracing the reason for the season, actively ignoring the overly-commercialistic elements, which in recent decades have caused so much suffering and hardship to so many people, having worked for over 30 years in supermarket retailing - this was massively brought home to me in Christmas 2020 and I will never forget that heartbreaking time as long as I live 

  • I found Christmas pretty bleak last year. This year I’m just blocking it out. Haven’t put up any decorations and won’t be doing a special dinner or anything.