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Since forever

JT

So I'm 42, diagnosed a few years ago, and recently I realised something. I've felt lonely for over 30 years. That's a long time to not find a solution for something.

Do you think it's ever possible to not feel lonely anymore? Don't think the world wants me as it constantly leaves me flying solo, even when I'm surrounded by people

  • in reply to A

    I live in a property like this, and for me I find it quite challenging as an autistic person. I'd say that this is a prominently a nt environment. I try to use the communal areas as little as possible. But I have to share a laundry room with the other residents. I mask highly, struggle with their need for small talk. And I'm definitely not interested in the bitc***g that goes on. I think in some ways I feel lonelier, as it highlights my differences. 

  • in reply to Deleted User

    Thanks Number. Always a font of knowledge and sage advice Punch

  • Hello JT, good to see you back.

    I'm reasonably  sure that feeling less lonely is possible, but I'm not sure that "finding" something is the route to that.  If you feel more connected to the world then you are likely to feel less lonely.  Recognise what ways you are connected to the world, and then gently try to build upon those connections = that would be my advice, based on my experience.

    I feel lonely most of the time, but not as utterly alone and isolated as I once felt.  It was recognising the very small connections that I did have with the world that started me along a path to "feeling less lonely."

    Be well JT.

  • in reply to A

    It occurs to me that an elderly person I know moved into some flats near me not too long ago. They’re only available to over-55s and although they are self contained (bedroom, bathroom, kitchen etc) they also have a shared kitchen and a shared living room space.

    The idea being that single older people might get a slightly communal living experience and not be completely alone.

    I wonder if a similar model might work for some of us autists.

  • Not sure how to help other than to say I’m in the same position as you, and sadly it only gets worse being alone at Christmas.

  • Sadly, it's not uncommon for us to experience loneliness (I feel very lonely myself and have always been acutely aware of it).

    You might like to check out these articles:

    NAS - Loneliness

    NAS - Making friends - a guide for autistic adults

    You could also contact your GP surgery and ask to be referred to a social prescriber / social prescribing link worker. This is something that I'll be doing myself in the New Year, after my counselling has ended.

    Their role is to work with you, potentially over several sessions, in order to develop a personalised care and support plan that meets your "practical, social and emotional needs that affect their [your] health and wellbeing". This model operates throughout the UK. For example: 

    NHS England - Social prescribing

  • No idea! Same deal here… hoping to find some friendships here