Conflicted on whether to go through the process of getting a diagnosis or not

Hello,

I recently began thinking that I might be autistic, but I am conflicted on whether or not I should try to get it checked out.

To explain from the beginning, it never occurred to me before that I was autistic but in recent years it has been brought to my attention (by my partner, through conflicts with friends or colleagues at work, etc.) that some of what I thought was normal might not be so for other people.

I started researching specific problems I was having, and a lot of the results that came up mentioned autism. From there, I read different articles or watched videos about it, and I felt an unbelievable sense of like “this makes sense” that I never had felt before. If it were true that I was autistic, then it all clicked.

I have lots of different parts of my personality that aligned with autistic traits and symptoms. I also think I don’t have certain symptoms that would make it more obvious if I am autistic or not.

I spoke to my partner and one of my friends about it, and they both agreed it would make sense if I were. I also took lots of tests online (though I know they aren’t official or anything) and they all came back with the result that it might be worth getting checked out.

However, I felt relieved just to figure out that it might be autism. I didn’t feel the need to get an official diagnosis until recently. But when I consulted my mom about it, she said I can if I want to but that she’s sure I’m not autistic.

This made me doubt myself. I was so sure that there was a really high chance I am autistic, but if that’s not the case, it might be embarrassing to go to a consultation for a diagnosis…

Maybe I’m not autistic rather just bad with social situations, egotistical, and have an extremely difficult personality…

I don’t think that’s the case, but now I’m not sure anymore.

I don’t want to spend money and time on getting a diagnosis and feel embarrassed when it’s not so if it’s so obvious that I’m not autistic…

I would appreciate any input or advice anyone has.

Parents
  • So, I would say you aren't alone in thinking all this stuff.

    For myself, I literally hit a burnout so bad it felt like crashing into a steel wall. It's taking time to recover and rebuild and part of that was trying to sort through the ways in which Autism affects me. Everyone around my had at some point or other suggested I might be autistic and for the most part I ignored it because 'it didn't matter' and 'what would it change'. 

    I only had the assessment on 31st of December so it's all new to me, but as I've sorted through things - knowing one way or the other has changed some things.

    My reason was that my brain does get in my way a lot of the time. I needed to know if there was a reason that the way I approached the world was so wildly different to other people. I had to wait a little over two years to get that answer, but slowly I'm beginning to figure out things.

    I would suggest though, if all the indicitive tests suggest you might be autistic - get the referral for an assessment. Take the AQ10 into the GP and speak to them. You lose nothing by undergoing this stuff. If you have an experience like me you might cycle through a lot of periods where you strongly think you are, but then hear a single word from someone else and for months deny that you might be autistic. Truth is that the only way to know for sure is to go through the assessment/diagnosis process. 

    Knowing for sure, where its only been a suggestion is a mixed bag for me right now. What I will say is that while I don't 'feel' any different - I have some explainations for the way the world works, and my reactions to it. 

    Though, you are you. What works or worked for me, might not work for you. I hope whatever you decide it helps you out though.

Reply
  • So, I would say you aren't alone in thinking all this stuff.

    For myself, I literally hit a burnout so bad it felt like crashing into a steel wall. It's taking time to recover and rebuild and part of that was trying to sort through the ways in which Autism affects me. Everyone around my had at some point or other suggested I might be autistic and for the most part I ignored it because 'it didn't matter' and 'what would it change'. 

    I only had the assessment on 31st of December so it's all new to me, but as I've sorted through things - knowing one way or the other has changed some things.

    My reason was that my brain does get in my way a lot of the time. I needed to know if there was a reason that the way I approached the world was so wildly different to other people. I had to wait a little over two years to get that answer, but slowly I'm beginning to figure out things.

    I would suggest though, if all the indicitive tests suggest you might be autistic - get the referral for an assessment. Take the AQ10 into the GP and speak to them. You lose nothing by undergoing this stuff. If you have an experience like me you might cycle through a lot of periods where you strongly think you are, but then hear a single word from someone else and for months deny that you might be autistic. Truth is that the only way to know for sure is to go through the assessment/diagnosis process. 

    Knowing for sure, where its only been a suggestion is a mixed bag for me right now. What I will say is that while I don't 'feel' any different - I have some explainations for the way the world works, and my reactions to it. 

    Though, you are you. What works or worked for me, might not work for you. I hope whatever you decide it helps you out though.

Children
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