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Conflicted on whether to go through the process of getting a diagnosis or not

purpledot

Hello,

I recently began thinking that I might be autistic, but I am conflicted on whether or not I should try to get it checked out.

To explain from the beginning, it never occurred to me before that I was autistic but in recent years it has been brought to my attention (by my partner, through conflicts with friends or colleagues at work, etc.) that some of what I thought was normal might not be so for other people.

I started researching specific problems I was having, and a lot of the results that came up mentioned autism. From there, I read different articles or watched videos about it, and I felt an unbelievable sense of like “this makes sense” that I never had felt before. If it were true that I was autistic, then it all clicked.

I have lots of different parts of my personality that aligned with autistic traits and symptoms. I also think I don’t have certain symptoms that would make it more obvious if I am autistic or not.

I spoke to my partner and one of my friends about it, and they both agreed it would make sense if I were. I also took lots of tests online (though I know they aren’t official or anything) and they all came back with the result that it might be worth getting checked out.

However, I felt relieved just to figure out that it might be autism. I didn’t feel the need to get an official diagnosis until recently. But when I consulted my mom about it, she said I can if I want to but that she’s sure I’m not autistic.

This made me doubt myself. I was so sure that there was a really high chance I am autistic, but if that’s not the case, it might be embarrassing to go to a consultation for a diagnosis…

Maybe I’m not autistic rather just bad with social situations, egotistical, and have an extremely difficult personality…

I don’t think that’s the case, but now I’m not sure anymore.

I don’t want to spend money and time on getting a diagnosis and feel embarrassed when it’s not so if it’s so obvious that I’m not autistic…

I would appreciate any input or advice anyone has.

Parents

  • Hi, I struggled with this debate for quite a while too. I did decide to go via the route of getting tested, and frankly I did find it a bit discouraging. My dad was super helpful and open to the idea of me being autistic, whilst my mother was rather certain I wasn't. My GP was absolutely awful - she told me that it "wasn't worth going through the years-long process to get a piece of paper" and at one point outright refused to refer me to Clinical Partners via Right To Choose - I instead spoke to the receptionist there who was super helpful and if it wasn't for here I wouldn't have managed to go through the process.

    However, it was these obstacles that made me want to go through the process even more. My advice is to follow your instinct and try to get an answer for the question - it is a nice thing to know and can help explain some things. Even if you go through the process and you find you don't have autism, it's a lesson learned.

    Finally, I would add that getting a formal diagnosis is helpful if you decide you want to request workplace accommodations or if you want to fight a case for discrimination in the workplace, or whatever else. Don't let autism define you, and don't let it become a crux you rely on for arguments you may have with colleagues and the like, but even just informing colleagues that you have autism can help foster understanding and break down prejudices.

Reply

  • Hi, I struggled with this debate for quite a while too. I did decide to go via the route of getting tested, and frankly I did find it a bit discouraging. My dad was super helpful and open to the idea of me being autistic, whilst my mother was rather certain I wasn't. My GP was absolutely awful - she told me that it "wasn't worth going through the years-long process to get a piece of paper" and at one point outright refused to refer me to Clinical Partners via Right To Choose - I instead spoke to the receptionist there who was super helpful and if it wasn't for here I wouldn't have managed to go through the process.

    However, it was these obstacles that made me want to go through the process even more. My advice is to follow your instinct and try to get an answer for the question - it is a nice thing to know and can help explain some things. Even if you go through the process and you find you don't have autism, it's a lesson learned.

    Finally, I would add that getting a formal diagnosis is helpful if you decide you want to request workplace accommodations or if you want to fight a case for discrimination in the workplace, or whatever else. Don't let autism define you, and don't let it become a crux you rely on for arguments you may have with colleagues and the like, but even just informing colleagues that you have autism can help foster understanding and break down prejudices.

Children
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