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Conflicted on whether to go through the process of getting a diagnosis or not

purpledot

Hello,

I recently began thinking that I might be autistic, but I am conflicted on whether or not I should try to get it checked out.

To explain from the beginning, it never occurred to me before that I was autistic but in recent years it has been brought to my attention (by my partner, through conflicts with friends or colleagues at work, etc.) that some of what I thought was normal might not be so for other people.

I started researching specific problems I was having, and a lot of the results that came up mentioned autism. From there, I read different articles or watched videos about it, and I felt an unbelievable sense of like “this makes sense” that I never had felt before. If it were true that I was autistic, then it all clicked.

I have lots of different parts of my personality that aligned with autistic traits and symptoms. I also think I don’t have certain symptoms that would make it more obvious if I am autistic or not.

I spoke to my partner and one of my friends about it, and they both agreed it would make sense if I were. I also took lots of tests online (though I know they aren’t official or anything) and they all came back with the result that it might be worth getting checked out.

However, I felt relieved just to figure out that it might be autism. I didn’t feel the need to get an official diagnosis until recently. But when I consulted my mom about it, she said I can if I want to but that she’s sure I’m not autistic.

This made me doubt myself. I was so sure that there was a really high chance I am autistic, but if that’s not the case, it might be embarrassing to go to a consultation for a diagnosis…

Maybe I’m not autistic rather just bad with social situations, egotistical, and have an extremely difficult personality…

I don’t think that’s the case, but now I’m not sure anymore.

I don’t want to spend money and time on getting a diagnosis and feel embarrassed when it’s not so if it’s so obvious that I’m not autistic…

I would appreciate any input or advice anyone has.

Parents

  • I've only recently received my diagnosis. I was on the waiting list in Tayside for almost 2 years and that was the fast track list. During that time, there were days that I was sure of my autism and days I rejected the idea. It was a bit confusing and as the assessment came closer, I did feel a lot of anxiety about it.

    Since receiving the diagnosis, I know. There's no doubting it. I don't know what it would feel like to be diagnosed as not autistic but I still know that I would know.

    One thing that convinced me to go for it was the reaction from friends and family when I said I suspected it. I didn't have anybody tell me "but you don't look or act autistic" there was a sort of silence that I could only take as "yeah, we could have told you that years ago"

    Self diagnosis is valid but unfortunately, you can change your own opinion too easily. If that's what you find, I think official diagnosis is the way to go.

    Good luck with whatever you choose to do 

Reply

  • I've only recently received my diagnosis. I was on the waiting list in Tayside for almost 2 years and that was the fast track list. During that time, there were days that I was sure of my autism and days I rejected the idea. It was a bit confusing and as the assessment came closer, I did feel a lot of anxiety about it.

    Since receiving the diagnosis, I know. There's no doubting it. I don't know what it would feel like to be diagnosed as not autistic but I still know that I would know.

    One thing that convinced me to go for it was the reaction from friends and family when I said I suspected it. I didn't have anybody tell me "but you don't look or act autistic" there was a sort of silence that I could only take as "yeah, we could have told you that years ago"

    Self diagnosis is valid but unfortunately, you can change your own opinion too easily. If that's what you find, I think official diagnosis is the way to go.

    Good luck with whatever you choose to do 

Children
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