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Conflicted on whether to go through the process of getting a diagnosis or not

purpledot

Hello,

I recently began thinking that I might be autistic, but I am conflicted on whether or not I should try to get it checked out.

To explain from the beginning, it never occurred to me before that I was autistic but in recent years it has been brought to my attention (by my partner, through conflicts with friends or colleagues at work, etc.) that some of what I thought was normal might not be so for other people.

I started researching specific problems I was having, and a lot of the results that came up mentioned autism. From there, I read different articles or watched videos about it, and I felt an unbelievable sense of like “this makes sense” that I never had felt before. If it were true that I was autistic, then it all clicked.

I have lots of different parts of my personality that aligned with autistic traits and symptoms. I also think I don’t have certain symptoms that would make it more obvious if I am autistic or not.

I spoke to my partner and one of my friends about it, and they both agreed it would make sense if I were. I also took lots of tests online (though I know they aren’t official or anything) and they all came back with the result that it might be worth getting checked out.

However, I felt relieved just to figure out that it might be autism. I didn’t feel the need to get an official diagnosis until recently. But when I consulted my mom about it, she said I can if I want to but that she’s sure I’m not autistic.

This made me doubt myself. I was so sure that there was a really high chance I am autistic, but if that’s not the case, it might be embarrassing to go to a consultation for a diagnosis…

Maybe I’m not autistic rather just bad with social situations, egotistical, and have an extremely difficult personality…

I don’t think that’s the case, but now I’m not sure anymore.

I don’t want to spend money and time on getting a diagnosis and feel embarrassed when it’s not so if it’s so obvious that I’m not autistic…

I would appreciate any input or advice anyone has.

Parents
  • purpledot said:
    However, I felt relieved just to figure out that it might be autism. I didn’t feel the need to get an official diagnosis until recently. But when I consulted my mom about it, she said I can if I want to but that she’s sure I’m not autistic

    My teachers in primary school told my mom they suspect me autistic, she denied that saying that I’m normal just like her. I’m not exactly like her, but yes there are some similarities. Maybe it’s similar in your situation or maybe your mom is just used to with you and maybe your “quirks” and your issues or behaviors are nothing unusual for her. Maybe it’s also a thing that she may have a stereotype of an autistic child s and you may not fit her stereotype. When I brought this topic up with my mom sone time ago, she said it’s crazy and I have nothing in common with autism and then she gave me a rant about what autism really is. She herself did not realized that lots of those traits she mentioned are also my traits and I was told by her many times stop being so… (for example literal) etc. I just listened and smiled saying nothing (we spoke on the phone). I think maybe you can try to either educate your mom a bit, explain to her why you think you might be autistic, but it may not work at all if she is not open to new information. Then maybe you can choose to discus this matter with people who understand it better and support you with this. This of course does not mean cutting contact with your mom. I talk to my mom everyday and I love her but I just chose to keep her away from this matter. I also think that if you feel you need to find it out for sure - it’s worth to look into it. Here on the site are articles, there is also pros and cons of seeking the diagnosis. I think it’s nothing shameful doesn’t matter if you get diagnosed or not. 

Reply
  • purpledot said:
    However, I felt relieved just to figure out that it might be autism. I didn’t feel the need to get an official diagnosis until recently. But when I consulted my mom about it, she said I can if I want to but that she’s sure I’m not autistic

    My teachers in primary school told my mom they suspect me autistic, she denied that saying that I’m normal just like her. I’m not exactly like her, but yes there are some similarities. Maybe it’s similar in your situation or maybe your mom is just used to with you and maybe your “quirks” and your issues or behaviors are nothing unusual for her. Maybe it’s also a thing that she may have a stereotype of an autistic child s and you may not fit her stereotype. When I brought this topic up with my mom sone time ago, she said it’s crazy and I have nothing in common with autism and then she gave me a rant about what autism really is. She herself did not realized that lots of those traits she mentioned are also my traits and I was told by her many times stop being so… (for example literal) etc. I just listened and smiled saying nothing (we spoke on the phone). I think maybe you can try to either educate your mom a bit, explain to her why you think you might be autistic, but it may not work at all if she is not open to new information. Then maybe you can choose to discus this matter with people who understand it better and support you with this. This of course does not mean cutting contact with your mom. I talk to my mom everyday and I love her but I just chose to keep her away from this matter. I also think that if you feel you need to find it out for sure - it’s worth to look into it. Here on the site are articles, there is also pros and cons of seeking the diagnosis. I think it’s nothing shameful doesn’t matter if you get diagnosed or not. 

Children
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