I found that I got on far better with other people from another student society, as those on my course seemed to be constantly switching who/what their alliances were.
I found that I got on far better with other people from another student society, as those on my course seemed to be constantly switching who/what their alliances were.
My first year was a load of fun - I started at 17 so had the excitment of drinking while underage and had no end of fun encounters with the opposite sex. About the only downside was having to study - I was masking like mad and socialising (not being too successful overall) and having fun discovering myself.
I was staying in the Uni halls of residence so was pretty much on the doorstep of the uni.
I had to resit 1 exam and after that I got a bit more serious in my second year but found a group of friends who were quite varied but entertaining. I did a lot better that year.
My third year I had to move in with my granmother because I no longer qualified for accommodation and I now had a 2.5 hour commute which, in combination with being away from my friends led me to lose interest in the whole thing - without the social life it was all dull as dishwater.
I eventually stopped going in, didn't do well enough in the exams to go on for Honours but got a good enough result to still pass.
Just talking to people was what got me into the habit of making friends - breaking the ice and finding a shared interest often helped.
As for the cliques, I largely ignored them and found people much more on my wavelength to talk to.
Interested to know how you started at 17?
Interested to know how you started at 17?
In Scotland you can do this - I gained the necessary qualifications through the Scottish Higher exams which are typically passed when aged 16/17 one yeat after the more traditional O Levels / O Grades.
The school had the option then (mid 1980s) to do something called 6th Year Studies) which was the equivelant to the English A Levels but a bit more elective - the H Grades were of a high enough standard that the universities around the UK accepted them (I also had an offer to Cambridge but elected to go to a uni nearer home).
So a lot of Scottish students could go to uni 1 year before their English counterparts. I don't know if this is still the case.
So a lot of Scottish students could go to uni 1 year before their English counterparts. I don't know if this is still the case
Still the case, yes.
Thanks. I really hope kids are getting better guidance in school now so that they don’t have to bootstrap themselves in their 20s.
I copied that approach and I think that’s where my masking stepped up several levels.
That is a good way to do it - not many have the patience or persistance for the approach so I'm impressed.
I was lucky in that I had a girlfriend who kind of trained me to be socially invisible and explained a lot of the stuff us autists rarely get to learn at that age. I guess I was a project for her, but I'll always be grateful for those life skills.
Sex, drugs and rock and roll are all part of the uni experience, even some of them for me when I went at the age of 42. If I won the lottery I think I'd become a perpetual student, I loved learning.
In many ways my teen years were the most challenging socially so I just didn’t have the skills to go into a brand new environment where I didn’t know anyone and build relationships with them. I became very depressed through 1st and 2nd year as a result.
But around 2nd/3rd year I vividly remember reading a book about a famous academic who had the same problem and he decided to sit in the refectory and observe people talking to each other to try to figure out how to do it himself.
I copied that approach and I think that’s where my masking stepped up several levels. Add on a couple of years of forced interaction at work and by my mid 20s I would have been much more able to make connections with people.
I might have had a much better time at uni if I’d waited a few years.
I'm curious as to why you thought that would have been useful - can you elaborate?
Personally it gave me a break from so many of the restrictions that were holding be back because of people thinking "you're not old enough to know about that". It really annoyed me to be judged on a number such as age when I was proving myself more capable in other areas than most of the adults in my life, including teachers.
That was my perception back then anyway. I coped well enough even if the sex, booze and rock 'n' roll were a bit of a distraction. I doubt it would have made a difference waiting another year.
I started at 17 too for the same reason. In retrospect I might have had a much better time at uni if I’d waited a few years.
I started at 17 too for the same reason. In retrospect I might have had a much better time at uni if I’d waited a few years.
Thanks. I really hope kids are getting better guidance in school now so that they don’t have to bootstrap themselves in their 20s.
I copied that approach and I think that’s where my masking stepped up several levels.
That is a good way to do it - not many have the patience or persistance for the approach so I'm impressed.
I was lucky in that I had a girlfriend who kind of trained me to be socially invisible and explained a lot of the stuff us autists rarely get to learn at that age. I guess I was a project for her, but I'll always be grateful for those life skills.
Sex, drugs and rock and roll are all part of the uni experience, even some of them for me when I went at the age of 42. If I won the lottery I think I'd become a perpetual student, I loved learning.
In many ways my teen years were the most challenging socially so I just didn’t have the skills to go into a brand new environment where I didn’t know anyone and build relationships with them. I became very depressed through 1st and 2nd year as a result.
But around 2nd/3rd year I vividly remember reading a book about a famous academic who had the same problem and he decided to sit in the refectory and observe people talking to each other to try to figure out how to do it himself.
I copied that approach and I think that’s where my masking stepped up several levels. Add on a couple of years of forced interaction at work and by my mid 20s I would have been much more able to make connections with people.
I might have had a much better time at uni if I’d waited a few years.
I'm curious as to why you thought that would have been useful - can you elaborate?
Personally it gave me a break from so many of the restrictions that were holding be back because of people thinking "you're not old enough to know about that". It really annoyed me to be judged on a number such as age when I was proving myself more capable in other areas than most of the adults in my life, including teachers.
That was my perception back then anyway. I coped well enough even if the sex, booze and rock 'n' roll were a bit of a distraction. I doubt it would have made a difference waiting another year.
