wondering if my brothers issues with ageing is connected to autism

What an interesting idea. Winding back ones biological clock...

Would be a bit rough on the young 'uns though wouldn't it?

We'd be able to out-compete them on a level physical playing field simply by having the extra decades of lived experience, not only in sexual competition but totally across the board, except in activities that we know carries an unacceptable chance of personal injury or death... 

That exquisite balance (or not depending on teh situation!) between being young strong and inexperienced versus being old, weak, but experinced and knowledeable seems to have an innate fairness about it. 

OTOH Aubrey De Gray (Phd) says that theoreticallyif our T-Alleles were "turned off" with careful living we could possibly go for as long as seven hundred years.  

630+ years more of this!! 

Not quite, but I know of it a little bit, so take my answer with a grain of salt. My guess it has to do with his own fear of what he thinks comes with age, identity, responsibility.

I for one find it difficult to shift my taught nice-ways from childhood and growing up to act less so in these other surroundings where I came to exist later in life where people are simply not that nice when approaching, they've been taught something else. My nice ways even came off as flirtatious in the surrounding while it doesn't in other surroundings. I did not get what was going on, but have later understood I was young (but looked younger) and had dressed the part for the job I had (make up, clothes, shoes) like everyone else did. Before I was not that interested in my looks, but understood I needed to dress the part in order to get the job. I would study how the others looked but I did not study how they were acting, their attitude. (I would figure they had a bad day).  I was taught before that if you are well raised, if you are polite, nice, then that is the way to go everywhere, but now I understand it ain't. You got to crack the code where ever you are, adapt, in order to connect to others in that particular surrounding and in order to be part of the group. That can be very difficult and it can feel like the wrong thing to do, as if you are being untrue to yourself. Which then brings me to the conclusion that your brother wish to stay in the 18-year-group as he likes it more there (for what ever the reasons). 

Too what I think is common is that we (who have autism) is very mature in one way, but are immature (in lack of a better word) in another (but it can be a fun balance, can be exactly what everyone needs), but maybe he thinks that his immature/"childish" ways, if for instance, if he has a specific type of humor, is only appreciated in the 18-year old club, (with him mimicking like that) and it is seen as wrong in the 30-year old club he then rather stay in the 18-year old club. 

After now having left the not so nice/friendly surrounding for a while during the holidays I've watched others that works in the field I did back then and they are part of the group, they are the way I was, and it is not seen as they are flirting. So the way I was before was just right in that surrounding, "group", but misread, "wrong" in the other. Already I told my husband (who has been brought up in that other not so nice approach surrounding, only "home" he knows off) I do not think I will ever feel at home in this other not so nice approach world of his. I want to go back. however, would I remove my husband to my old world/surrounding he would feel out of place because to be truthful here he goes more undercover, is more one of them, in the not so nice approach world. Now, my old world still exist, and it is not age-dependent I think in quite the same way, but your brother may feel his is slipping through his fingers and it must be a terrible feeling. I feel as if this surrounding I live and work in will never be home to me. He's told me to be patient, but by now I know that I won't change my view on it. 

If he has a typical interest in something that is seen as immature in the 30-year old club he can still join a group where age don't matter or what  he could think is prescribed to that age 30-year old group. 

I apologize I write so much about myself/my own situation,, but other wise I do not know how I will explain how I've come to the conclusions I have about your brother. 

Yes that's most peoples imediate thought. People changing legal age -> sex. But when you think about it from a legal point of view there is no difrence in the eyes of the law between sexual activity and behaviour at 18 and 80. Regardless of how sociaty might feel about geriatrics who conduct their sex lives like 18 year olds.

The real issues legally are mostly rather neich. Some public services are age limited. Child and Adolescent Mental Health service, Some provisions under ECHPs extend to 25. There are special exeptions carved out of the equality act for car insurence and 18-30 holidays. Some limitation on driving heavy vehicals under 21. Mostly things that a person changing their age could live without or that would be no big deal to make exceptions for.

The 2 big ones are pensions (presumably a person would have to wait longer to get it) and the fact that dates of birth are used for identification. I'd argue DOB shoudn't be used for identification. There are a few people who share both a full name and DOB. Public services should really be using national insurance numbers or visa / asylum / residancy numbers for that sort of thing.

A lot of the issues with idenityfying people who have changed details have already been worked out for gender change where the goverment runs a special office that can link new records to old for things like DBS checks.

Peter said:

I would certainly try to get some sort of legal age change.

While there is a lot of scope for Prince Andrews of this world to abuse this in order to mix with young people in inappropriate environments, I don't think the law will change.

Good luck with your research.

1. Thank you for sharing your story. It sounds like you probably do understand him. It's nice to see you are using it for something positive though.

One of the advantages of this being an anonymous forum is I can say things here I never would say in public. I know how he feels. At least I think I do. When I first started developing facial hair in my late teens I started plucking it out meticulously. I hated the idea of getting older. I still do. I didn't like my voice deepening either. I experimented with shaving my body hair but it was too much nuisance. I think it is maybe partly because we form a strong sense of who we are and what we stand for in our teens. I didn't want the face I associated with that person to change. I think it's also partly because as a young person I developed a strong sense of us and them. As far as I was concerned adult society suffered from a form of collective insanity ... my views on this haven't changed much.


But from a physiological point of view after 15/16 parts of your body start to age. For most people up-to that point every aspect of your bodily function has been constantly improving. Reflexes, strength, hearing, flexibility, range of motion. The notion that from that point onwards there would be aspects of my body that were constantly in decline was upsetting. It's not really mortality that is distressing so much as the awareness of slow decline.


On top of that my aspirations as a teen were all frustrated. The exciting active social life I hoped for never materialised and the more 'adult' the 'society' around me became the less I wanted any part of it. The world of mortgages and school catchment areas just didn't suit me. If I could have kept that 15/16 year old face I would have. If I could have kept hanging around with university freshers I would have.


This is why I pivoted my research career towards ageing research. I have not trying to find the secret of eternal life. Nor am I only concerned with alleviating ageing related diseases. But if gene therapy or cell therapy or any other intervention could wind that clock back? That's what motivates my work.


I remember when Emile Ratelband applied to have his age legally changed by the dutch court. I must have been one of the only people in the world who didn’t think it was a huge joke. Of course his legal argument was that he looked 20 years younger than he was. I don’t know about him but I certainly couldn’t say that about myself. But suppose there were a therapy that could take +10 years off your biological clock. I would certainly try to get some sort of legal age change. I’m sure the courts would deny me just as they did him. But no one would be able to say I tinkered with my own genes for a joke. And in truth in a case like that you’d apply for a court order to stop the papers reporting on it anyway.

Good afternoon Pianist_Louise,

Thank you for your post. Our advice and guidance pages may worth exploring to gain further insight into autism and autistic traits, You could start with this page which details "what is autism?"

Please find the link here:

https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/what-is-autism

We also have a page dedicated to "diagnosis" which may be of interest. Please find the link here:

https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/diagnosis

And finally may I suggest the following page about "behaviour" which may be worth reading especially the section on "dealing with change" 

https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/behaviour/dealing-with-change

I really hope you find some useful advice. 

With best wishes, 

Anna Mod 

Pianist_Louise said:

the way he reacts and what's written in his notes suggests he has. he's clearly is in denial

Unfortunately many people, autists included, have a strong preconception that being "on the spectrum" means that they are defective, mentally ill or otherwise undesirable which leads to them rejecting a diagnosis. Sort of a "what you don't know can't hurt you" sort of denial.

There is nothing you can do to force the issue and it is best to respect his wishes I think, but you could do some research on it if you are interested and may be able to suggest some ideas for him to deal with his issues if you undestand how other autists deal with them.

The impressions thing he does could be a form of "scripting" which we commonly use to find ways of interacting using pre-prepared & practiced phrases or quotes, sometimes as impressions.  These are often used to gain credibility (eg cause others to laugh) or to ease conversation.

The rejection of aging is possibly linked with the fear of change that many autists have. When we find a sweet spot where we have things going the way we like then we don't want it to change and this can cause quite extreme reactions for some when it happens anyway.

If you do want to look more into autism then a start would be to look at the traits you can identify for him (and yourself since it is genetic)

https://thespectrum.org.au/autism-diagnosis/checklist-adults/

The nature of a spectrum condition like autism means he will have some symptoms and they will be at varying intensity. If he has enough at a severe enough level then he would proably quality in a diagnosis as autistic but otherwise he could still be "on the spectrum" but not badly enough to merit the disabiity label that the diagnosis provides.

It could be interesting to see who else in your family has the traits but be careful in broaching the subject with them as many still have a stigma around the subject.

My mother was named Wendy which only exists due to the Peter Pan story. My father was named Melvyn because his mother's favourite actor was Melvyn Douglas. I imagine this all has to do with 'living forever' i.e. not reality sadly with my understanding of me+ my family today and in history (coincidentally my sister's name is Louise but I can't remember/don't fully know the background to that choice). They talk about this kind of thing in the current Reith Lectures on Radio 4 www.bbc.co.uk/.../b00729d9