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Struggling with work

infinitelynik

Hi everyone,

I am writing this because I feel at a loss as to what to do and just want to feel understood. I am 28, have EUPD and was refused autism assessment by the NHS neurodiversity team because of this. It was very disheartening considering my only sibling is non verbal and autistic with a multitude of other things too. 

I’m struggling at work. I have fibromyalgia and have been on long sick leaves multiple times due to anxieties, mental and physical health but I honestly think a lot of it is burnout. I feel hopeless because this has happened in other jobs I’ve had too but never to this severe of a level. I literally just dont think I can cope anymore but I’m scared because of financial needs. I don’t know what to do to be able to support myself, but equally, I feel like no one around me fully understands what I mean when I say I honestly know I cannot maintain this any longer for my own sanity.

I hope someone understands what I mean, thank you for reading this

  • Good morning infinitelynik,

    Thank you for your post. I am really sorry to read about the struggles you are experiencing. I understand that you have requested a referral from your GP. I wonder whether you may find our advice page about "how to request an autism referral" helpful? The page details the process and near the bottom of the page is a section about  gaining a second opinion should this be something you wish to explore. 

    Please find the link to the page here:

    https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/diagnosis/before-diagnosis/how-to-request-an-autism-assessment

    I hope you find the advice helpful. 

    With best wishes, 

    Anna Mod 

  • in reply to Iain

    Thank you for reading, Iain. 

    My work are aware of EUPD and fibromyalgia, and I’ve discussed with OH and am on redeployment in my job at the moment. I feel that realistically, I would only be able to maintain a WFH role long term. I work in admin right now but have experience in social care and SEND. 

    The only ways I can manage my stress levels are from home really, doing activities and hobbies that bring me comfort. I am taking medication for fibromyalgia and mental health which helps a bit, but the work burnout from attending an office in person is just too much and it exacerbates my issues. 

    I do speak to a therapist and have been doing so for a year now, but I feel like it’s not really going anywhere for me at the moment. Thank you for offering info, I’d appreciate it a lot

  • Sorry to hear you’re struggling. 

    I think you need to go back to your GP and ask for a new referral, maybe consider a referral via the right to choose process, so the GP should refer you directly to a provider you choose. You will need to find a provider though and make sure they offer referrals via right to choose. I would hope this means you don’t then have to go via the neurodiversity team. 

    An EUPD diagnosis shouldn’t be a reason to not accept a referral. There are many people with EUPD, including myself, who received an autism diagnosis. Maybe consider using the complaints process if you feel they are unfairly not accepting your referral using EUPD as the reason, as that is completely wrong. 

    For work, consider what reasonable adjustment would help you. Look at the areas you struggle with that is related to EUPD, autism and fibromyalgia, and what could be put in place to help you manage these struggles whilst at work. Maybe ask your manager for a referral to occupational health, they can help you consider some adjustments, but really it would be down to you to suggest what would work for you as you know you best. Think about what at work makes you anxious, and what could help alleviate that. You could also look at Access to work, they can offer mental health workplace support, and a grant for practical support. Something definitely you should look at. 

    I hope you also access to talking therapy via your GP as it sounds like you could benefit from some therapy or CBT

  • infinitelynik said:
    I’m struggling at work

    I'm sorry this is happening to you.

    I imagine that emotionally unstable personality disorder (EUPD) is likely to cause you a lot of issues in the workplace as there are few jobs where you don't need to work with other people on a regular basis.

    What line if work are you in? There may be options we can suggest that allow you more isolation if this is what you are after.

    Have you disclosed your EUPD diagnosis to the company? This may give you more protection from dismissal.

    I understand that fibromyalgia is agrivated by stress, so you have a snowball effect happening here with the impact on you. What have you tried to manage your stress levels?

    Have you asked your GP for any medication to manage stress to see if this limits the fibromyalgia? In your situation this may be worth considering.

    Lastly, have you considered getting a therapist with expertise in your conditions? They may be able to formulate strategies to help you cope, manage the pain & stress and live a passing resemblance to a normal life if that is what you want.

    Hopefully with some of this info we can give you some suggestions to look into.