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Alone and Scared.

JAM

I’m a 52 year old male, I’ve been unable to find a job for over four years now and this year my long term relationship ended. I live on my own and apart from my Mum, who is elderly, I have no one else in my life. I’ve tried to find support, registered with work help groups and volunteer when I can, but it’s getting harder and I see very little opportunities for the future. 

I live in Sheffield and wanted to ask if anyone could recommend a support group or anything similar, as my attempts have been exhausted. I have tried NHS Autism, but they told me they no longer have any legal obligations to support me. My long term Doctor who first recognised my Autism retired this year and now the surgery see me more as a low priority patient. I tried one group, but found the atmosphere very tense and argumentative between factions attending. 

If anyone has a suggestion or recommendations, it would be appreciated. Please, no website links that stipulate help guides or information on what to do. I need to talk with people and try to find actual resources, not just words. 

Thank you

  • I will A, not sure when I’ll feel up to it!!!!! 

  • in reply to JT

    Thank you for your kind words and consideration, sadly because I’m on benefits my money is pretty tight and I cannot afford such activities. I have tried and continue to volunteer when I can, I use to walk with my Dog, but he’s no longer with me now. 

    Sadly, I have been pro active over the years with no real resolve in my situation and now with the relationship ending so quickly, I’m finding it hard to see much change in my circumstances.  

    I do think I’m in need of Therapy, but there doesn’t seem to be any available, unless you can afford to pay for it. Which, is what I’m truly hoping to find. 

  • Hi Jam

    I'm sorry to hear if your troubled situation I really feel for our. I often feel hyper lonely and am lucky to still have a partner and child at home.

    One great thing about your situation, in some ways, is that you have by the sounds of it a lot of flexibility in making a schedule for yourself. Have y ok you considered looking on Meetup for clubs/groups that align with your interests. I know people who for example joined a sea swimming group and met their now longtime wife there, or another friend joined an advertuers club and she ended up with a partner a baby and a lifetime of amazing opportunities. They do expeditions etc. they are called Brighton Explorers, obviously down on the south coast, but I bet there is something similar up your way.

    Also, Sheffield has an art scene and I know galleries often do creative workshops, they are great places to go and are super accommodating for neurodivergent or disabled participants.

    Also, I always find a music scene has social elements connected to it so that could be another way into a shared space of interesting people?

    Just a few ideas anyway. Keep in touch dude, DM if ever you feel down and I'll do my best to get back you Punch we are never really alone, it's just an illusion and a change of logistics to resolve it (I tell myself this anyway)

  • in reply to Deleted User

    I will A, not sure when I’ll feel up to it, probably after all this craziness. 

  • in reply to JAM

    Let me know how you get on and maybe I’ll pluck up the courage to go too Slight smile

  • in reply to JAM

    I found one in Sheffield and will give it a try, thank you A. 

  • in reply to Deleted User

    Thank you A, hope you get to go one day, but it’s okay if you don’t. I find it hard going to my local shops and understand the difficulties in stepping out the door. The people who live on my street think I’m weird, as I love to just stand in my garden and be outdoors, but it doesn’t feel as lonely for me, just being indoors. 

  • Hi Jools,

    I’m a year older than you and also alone in the world. A previous therapist of mine suggested Andy’s Man Club. I can see there’s one in Sheffield.

    I haven’t yet worked up the courage to go to my local club, but I have seen a lot about them in the media and they look like a very good thing indeed.

    All the best.