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Skeptical about my diagnosis

LonelyColour

I have recently had my autism diagnosis and I am very skeptical about it.

The ADOS-2 report says that I struggle to engage in a flowing interchange, that my use of descriptive gestures was limited, and that due to the nature of the virtual assessment it was not possible to assess the quality of my eye contact (among many other things, of course).

My question is, if the interview was made online, how can they assess on my descriptive gestures, if they cannot see what I'm doing with my hands? I actually think that I use my hands a lot when talking. Can they base a diagnosis on only a few hours of observing me through a zoom call?

I also think that the reason why conversation wasn't flowing is because I did not know that person, and we were there for an autism assessment, not for a chit-chat. Does it mean that if you're shy and not too comfortable talking to strangers you are automatically autistic?

And obviously they could not report on my eye contact through a screen, and I think if they had seen me in person, they would have seen that I don't have problems with eye contact (or so I believe).

Obviously I must trust the experts and if they have given me a diagnosis is because I must be autistic.

On the other hand, it didn't feel like the assessment was very thorough?

Am I just on denial?

They say that denial is the first stage of grief. Is this what is happening to me?

I am having very mixed feelings about it and it's annoying because I wanted the diagnosis to take me out of this constant state of wondering if I am autistic or not. Now that I have been told that I am, I am still unsure about it.

Part of me has that "everybody has autism or ADHD now adays" attitude and I think deep down I was hoping for a negative diagnosis so that I could carry on with my life with the certainty that I was neurotypical.

Now I have to change my perspective on everything.

Parents

  • I'm just wondering, why did you go through with an autism diagnosis if you don't think you're autistic?

    I do think I'm autistic, and didn't go through a professional diagnosis, because I don't think I "seem autistic" or struggle enough in life to be classed as autistic, but after extensive research and comparison with diagnosed autistic adults, I'm sure I am.

    What I'm saying is, don't worry about what other people think or say - do what's right for you. If you don't want a label, don't tell anyone. You don't have to change your perspective, because you're still the same person you've always been.

    You'll always be welcome on here, and you can ask the community anything you want.

Reply

  • I'm just wondering, why did you go through with an autism diagnosis if you don't think you're autistic?

    I do think I'm autistic, and didn't go through a professional diagnosis, because I don't think I "seem autistic" or struggle enough in life to be classed as autistic, but after extensive research and comparison with diagnosed autistic adults, I'm sure I am.

    What I'm saying is, don't worry about what other people think or say - do what's right for you. If you don't want a label, don't tell anyone. You don't have to change your perspective, because you're still the same person you've always been.

    You'll always be welcome on here, and you can ask the community anything you want.

Children
  • in reply to Pixiefox

    Because some people in my life had been suggesting that I might be autistic, and because I had a C-PTSD diagnosis and have always struggled with depression and anxiety. I wanted to know if I was autistic or not because that would mean that the way I treat my anxiety would have to be different.

    I think part of me was hoping that I wouldn't be, because autism has no "cure", and this upsets me.

    Today I have seen some videos about autism and "split monotropism" and I feel so seen.

    Like yourself, I don't think "I seem autistic enough", (is only people close to me who are educated on the subject who pointed it out), so I won't be telling anyone.

    Thank you for your response and for making me feel welcome x