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Skeptical about my diagnosis

LonelyColour

I have recently had my autism diagnosis and I am very skeptical about it.

The ADOS-2 report says that I struggle to engage in a flowing interchange, that my use of descriptive gestures was limited, and that due to the nature of the virtual assessment it was not possible to assess the quality of my eye contact (among many other things, of course).

My question is, if the interview was made online, how can they assess on my descriptive gestures, if they cannot see what I'm doing with my hands? I actually think that I use my hands a lot when talking. Can they base a diagnosis on only a few hours of observing me through a zoom call?

I also think that the reason why conversation wasn't flowing is because I did not know that person, and we were there for an autism assessment, not for a chit-chat. Does it mean that if you're shy and not too comfortable talking to strangers you are automatically autistic?

And obviously they could not report on my eye contact through a screen, and I think if they had seen me in person, they would have seen that I don't have problems with eye contact (or so I believe).

Obviously I must trust the experts and if they have given me a diagnosis is because I must be autistic.

On the other hand, it didn't feel like the assessment was very thorough?

Am I just on denial?

They say that denial is the first stage of grief. Is this what is happening to me?

I am having very mixed feelings about it and it's annoying because I wanted the diagnosis to take me out of this constant state of wondering if I am autistic or not. Now that I have been told that I am, I am still unsure about it.

Part of me has that "everybody has autism or ADHD now adays" attitude and I think deep down I was hoping for a negative diagnosis so that I could carry on with my life with the certainty that I was neurotypical.

Now I have to change my perspective on everything.

Parents

  • Ask yourself two questions and try to answer them as dispassionately as possible.

    1) Does an autism diagnosis accurately describe me and my problems and limitations in life?

    2) Does an autism diagnosis help me understand myself and/or help me in a material way (such as accommodations at work)?

    If you answer no to both or either of these questions you are quite free to ignore your diagnosis.

    Getting an adult assessment requires a good deal of effort and is usually at the end of a period of introspection and pondering about oneself. I suspect that you would not have gone to such effort if you did not think that you probably fitted a manifestation of autism in a substantial way.

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  • Ask yourself two questions and try to answer them as dispassionately as possible.

    1) Does an autism diagnosis accurately describe me and my problems and limitations in life?

    2) Does an autism diagnosis help me understand myself and/or help me in a material way (such as accommodations at work)?

    If you answer no to both or either of these questions you are quite free to ignore your diagnosis.

    Getting an adult assessment requires a good deal of effort and is usually at the end of a period of introspection and pondering about oneself. I suspect that you would not have gone to such effort if you did not think that you probably fitted a manifestation of autism in a substantial way.

Children
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