Help with son's obsession

Good morning.

I am the father of my 14-year-old son who has mild to moderate Autism. His therapist suspects he may also have ADHD and Pathological Demand Avoidance. We have not yet received a referral.

Jay has had obsessions with characters from his favourite films; however, recently, he has developed an obsession with a peer from school. They are good friends, but now my son is constantly talking about his mate. He has memorised a lot of information about him and only wants to learn more, not realising what appropriate questions are or how often it is acceptable to contact his friend through social media.

The friend has expressed discomfort and has tried to communicate boundaries. After many attempts, Jay does not seem to recognise or take care of his mistakes.

I have tried to explain the need for boundaries and have imposed limits on his social media. This has led Jay to become upset and have tantrums.

As this is a new issue, I am at a loss as to what to do. My wife and I were not concerned about his fictional obsessions, but now I fear Jay may get into unintended trouble as an adult or lose his current friend. This friend is his main companion, and he only has a couple of others whom he does not see as often.

I would appreciate any advice from parents of children with autism, or from personal experiences.

Thanks in advance,

Mike