Why is socialising so hard ?

Because people are so contary and awkward!

 Wib  . Socialising is horrendously hard, even with family members. Being talked over, struggling with what to say and when to say it. The thing is, to look and listen to me, you would have no idea this is going on in my head. I just feel like a spare part, like I'm just tagging along in someone else's story. I'm beginning to think of it as some kind of experiment. It helps me cope.

I was stopped from replying to this. I pressed 'reply' and my response didn't appear. It's long past time the moderator's stopped hiding behind 'It's the algorithms' and were proactive in dealing with the situation. IMO that means dumping the current 'not fit for purpose'  tech team.

I hope you can have better luck socialising,sooner rather than later,than I have had. My attempts have been varying degrees of an utter failure. I'm no longer willing to self abuse myself by making further attempts at socialising. The last attempt? About 5 of us, plus a self styled 'radical social social worker' running the group. I found it hard to know when to speak. When I did speak I was ignored. It was a hurtful and horrible experience. The rest of them were getting on fine with each other. The final crap of a crap filled experience? Having the piss taken out of me, by the 'radical social worker' on paying for the refreshments I'd had. None of them had the basic decency to say he was out of order.

I have a wonderfully supportive 'chosen family' but no F2F social circle outside of that. Reduced mobility means I haven't gone outside independently since the falls 38 months ago. Sadly people like me play second fiddle to younger patients with more acute symptoms. The ones doing better than me approx 85% of the time, and quite a bit worse than me approx 15% of their time. I don't blame them . It's the fault  of those who think decent mental health support can be provided on a shoestring.  

Are you sure it is entirely your fault?

What can annoy me is that some formed groups do not make the efforts needed to make a newcomer feel welcomed and part of the group. It is too as if some of them expect you to be very giving of yourself while they are not, as if you have something to prove to them. If really bad, gloating. So you could have had the bad luck really of coming across one of these types of groups. They are many, many different types of groups formed, the dynamics. Some groups you do not want to be part of, as much as they would invite you in, that's for sure. 

People can have very poor social skills and other issues with themselves which makes them terrible friend material or group "friend" material for any newcomer in that type of situation. 

I've noticed that it is intelligent, emotionally intelligent, people who gives off a warm, loving feeling, caring, and/or very grounded people that are the ones doing the best job at inviting new people, including new people within a group. 

There are always going to be groups of people made of what they now are made of that push others out because they are different. These groups of people are to me the ones that have evolved the least and these groups are the ones responsible for pushing people with for say autism out,  never get a chance to get in, in the first place. Just because they are large in number does not make them the winning team (Even if they think so themselves). They are way behind, they are nowhere near. They are just so way behind it's embarrassing. 

What also comes to mind is that why you blame yourself could be because you simply got caught in the moment, emotions getting the best of you, a so called overreaction of the rejection or fear that you are making a fool of yourself ,making yourself shut down, distance yourself from the group.

Now, bare with me here, because I could be way wrong, I do not know if you did the following (I have experienced seeing this happen): What I would suggest (if it is possible for you) is to try to stay in the moment, just stay, do not physically move yourself further away from the group or even turn your heard, opposite direction, do not make yourself seen as you are the victim here, as if you are an outsider, do not linger on while the others march on, you stay physically "glued" with the rest of the group. You could pretend to listen to what they are talking about. 

I for one am impressed you thought of mixing your interest with a group of new people, that I would not enjoy one bit, I would not like it, and I think you should feel proud of yourself. 

Know there is likely always a next one, a new chance. You will encounter lots of different groups settings, dynamics. Maybe think what is the worst that can happen? So what if it fails? That means you are still where you were before, and you have one friend, and so my advice would be to keep trying, I think that is what people do, they try, they jump from one to the next til they find what they are looking for. Sure, some give up on their way. Relationships also takes time to built and it can take time before you trust the group and they trust you and that's OK. If you happened to have made a bad impression, so what? You got one friend who knows what you are about and if a true friend then know too to tell someone else in the group who may not like you for that reason alone what you're really made of. 

Ugh, that sucks, especially when you'd pushed yourself out of your comfort zone. I'm sorry.