• Replies 2 replies
  • Subscribers 98 subscribers
  • Views 116 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Post Gig loneliness

Talking Paradox

I went to stand up gig yesterday evening with a couple I know a bit as mutual fans of the act- Laura Lexx. I got to l know them through Laura's online content during lockdown and as a result I know her very slightly. It was a great show and I really enjoyed myself. Afterwards Laura was outside to chat to her audience, the couple I was with spoke to her and she recognised them.and greeted them warmly, but I was too anxious so I hung back and then left. I think I find comedy with an audience quite a bonding experience  -it gives me the rare feeling of being part of something- but when I left I felt that sense of connectness evaporate into a loneliness I haven't experienced since university. Anyone had similar experiences or have any advice?

  • in reply to BeccaLovesBreakfast

    Hi Becca, thank you for replying. The first one in particular sounds like it's the same sort of thing. I don't know what the live music scene is like but in the live comedy world there's still livestreaming online post lockdown which I've enjoyed quite a lot.

    I've got a couple of photos, including one where we met Laura at a gig she did a couple if years ago. The trouble, for me at least, is that it's undermined in my head by the underlying feeling that nobody would really notice if I wasn't there. I could go and talk to people, but they'd probably rather talk to someone else. Yes, in that moment I felt involved and connected, but then I left and it all carried on without me. It's somewhat self-pitying and obviously the feeling of being left out is -as you say- countered by the exhaustion from social interaction.

  • I have two possibly similar experiences. I got to watching live streams of a young ukulele singer-songwriter during lockdown, every Wednesday. There was a regular group of us watching and exchanging comments in the chat. Last year she had a gig in Glasgow and I was able to go along. It was an interesting experience and everyone was lovely but the stress of actually getting there and worrying about getting back made me appreciate how much I just enjoyed watching the livestream in the comfort of my own home and being able to interact on my own terms. So I felt sad and a bit lonely that I wasn't able to enjoy the gig as much as others did, that shared experience.

    The other thing is I do a Halloween show, it involves a lot of intense rehearsal and performance time for a couple of weeks where we are all working and interacting together....and then it's just over and we don't see each other for another year. Pretty much all of us are neurodivergent in some way and we all have bad come-downs after the show ends where we feel low and missing the social connections and that everything just feels wrong some how, even though we are equally glad of the rest after working so hard for that time.

    Anyway, don't know if either of those were quite what you were meaning. Not really any advice, sorry. Is there maybe some way you can record or document that feeling of connectedness so that when the loneliness happens you can refer back to it? Such as a photo or something? For instance I have a print that I won in one of the livestream competitions and there's a nice message written on the back thanking me for all my support. And for the Halloween show I have photos on Facebook from a night out where we all sat in the pub reading Tam o Shanter aloud.