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maybe i'm just a terrible person?

saccharinedreams

I'm being assessed for autism in 9 days and I'm beginning to second-guess myself. maybe all of my problems my whole life are just because I'm a *** person? Perhaps I'm just looking for a scapegoat for my *** personality? that's why I can't make or maintain friendships. That's why people have thought of me as weird my entire life. maybe I'm just horrible. I'm about to spend all this money on an assessment just to be told something I already know: that I just suck. There is no real diagnosis for me. I'm just an awful person. 

Parents

  • I asked myself the same question many times before my diagnosis. But when I sat down with the psychologist to receive the results of my assessment, she asked me what result I was hoping for, and I told her what I had just realised: that in many ways it didn’t matter what the result was because whether I was autistic or not, I would still have the same challenges and still have to find a path to improve my life.

    So even if you are a terrible person, and I very much doubt you are, you will still have the same choices to make: what can I change to make myself and my life better?

    I would also add that it’s very easy to doubt your own worth and character when you’ve spent a lifetime being told you are lesser or other or weird, and that is the experience of most autistic people. But other people not understanding you doesn’t make you a bad person. If anything I’d say it raises questions about their character.

    Good luck with your assessment.

Reply

  • I asked myself the same question many times before my diagnosis. But when I sat down with the psychologist to receive the results of my assessment, she asked me what result I was hoping for, and I told her what I had just realised: that in many ways it didn’t matter what the result was because whether I was autistic or not, I would still have the same challenges and still have to find a path to improve my life.

    So even if you are a terrible person, and I very much doubt you are, you will still have the same choices to make: what can I change to make myself and my life better?

    I would also add that it’s very easy to doubt your own worth and character when you’ve spent a lifetime being told you are lesser or other or weird, and that is the experience of most autistic people. But other people not understanding you doesn’t make you a bad person. If anything I’d say it raises questions about their character.

    Good luck with your assessment.

Children