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The not knowing

Rach91

Hay not sure if it’s just me or an autistic trait but I really hate the not knowing it makes me really anxious and ill. Tomorrow I’m supposed to be meeting my friend we supposed to be going to do circus skills in the morning and then back to mine for the rest of the day I’m supposed to be making broth in the slow cooker and I’ve bought the ingredients. My friend car has broken down he had to call for help and I don’t know what’s going on if they can fix it or if they can provide him with a curtesy car or anything. I have tried calling him and he either rejects the call or doesn’t answer the last message he sent me was he trying to get his car sorted. I really hate the not knowing my anxiety is through the roof because I want to know is tomorrow on so I can freeze my ingredients if it has to be postponed. Does anyone else get anxious when they don’t know what’s what? 

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  • Rach91 said:
    Does anyone else get anxious when they don’t know what’s what? 

    I used to be like this a lot and to a degree I still find the instinct kicking in from time to time when I'm working on something that has a significant predictibility challenge.

    I learned to practice mindfulness as it is tremendously effective in situations like this.

    My approach would be to stop focussing on what I am doing / need to do and think outside myself for a bit - realise your friend is in a difficult situation which is probably stressful for them (and probably going to be very expensive) and consider if in the context of things if my worry about the meal is actually important at all.

    I would continue with the meal prep up to the cooking stage and wait until I heard back from them. Make a few "what if" plans on whether they will be coming or not and see if one soultion could work for all - eg cooking a stew type dish instead and reheating it or freezing for later use.

    Personally by looking at the big picture it really helps me realise the anxiety is normally a bit of a selfish approach from me (not always though) and thinking of the other person gives me the options to work with to keep myself occupied while I wait for a response.

    With practice this can be scaled up to deal with much more challenging situations (I now can run big property renovations projects which have a lot of unpredictability in the early demolition stages where you discover what is actually behind the walls / floors etc) and where you have to deal with other people lots.

    It isn't simple to do it but the results are worth it in my opinion.

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  • Rach91 said:
    Does anyone else get anxious when they don’t know what’s what? 

    I used to be like this a lot and to a degree I still find the instinct kicking in from time to time when I'm working on something that has a significant predictibility challenge.

    I learned to practice mindfulness as it is tremendously effective in situations like this.

    My approach would be to stop focussing on what I am doing / need to do and think outside myself for a bit - realise your friend is in a difficult situation which is probably stressful for them (and probably going to be very expensive) and consider if in the context of things if my worry about the meal is actually important at all.

    I would continue with the meal prep up to the cooking stage and wait until I heard back from them. Make a few "what if" plans on whether they will be coming or not and see if one soultion could work for all - eg cooking a stew type dish instead and reheating it or freezing for later use.

    Personally by looking at the big picture it really helps me realise the anxiety is normally a bit of a selfish approach from me (not always though) and thinking of the other person gives me the options to work with to keep myself occupied while I wait for a response.

    With practice this can be scaled up to deal with much more challenging situations (I now can run big property renovations projects which have a lot of unpredictability in the early demolition stages where you discover what is actually behind the walls / floors etc) and where you have to deal with other people lots.

    It isn't simple to do it but the results are worth it in my opinion.

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