Anxiety

My therapist is currently going through some Cognitive Behavioural Therapy with me, so I'll share one of the ideas I've been learning there.

First, address your negative thoughts. Then ask yourself, is there any evidence to support your thought? Then, ask yourself if there's any evidence contradicting your negative thought. After that, seriously ask yourself if you're trying to reach a conclusion without examining all the evidence. What would a friend think about the situation? If you look at the thought from a positive perspective, how might it differ from your original thought? And, will the thought matter a year from now, or five years from now?

It might be easy for you to wrap these questions around to something that doesn't feel very good, but do try to use these questions to reframe your mind into something more positive. Or at the very least, to give yourself a chance to examine your thoughts in ways you're not used to.

Dana said:

It made me realise that it was only in my head.

Why not create a checklist for yourself to use when you find yourself getting into the situaiton. This is a simplified version of mindfulness and should help you override the doubting.

Have a checklist that is relevant to the different sort of situations that you fixate on, for example if you have not heard from a family member for a while and you think you should have:

1 - Are they away, busy on a project, got company staying or are otherwise unavailable?

2 - Did they say they were going to get in touch by now or am I just assuming this.

3 - If I'm assuming they should be in touch, how long was it the last few times for them to get in touch (ie establish a trend).

4 - Is there any reason for getting in touch or is is just social. If social then it really isn't that important to wait.

5 - Is it my turn to get in touch with them instead?

etc

Work through all the reasonable, rational reasons they may not be in touch and if any of these apply then it is OK - it isn't a problem so move onto something else.

By laying it out in black and white this way it lets your rational brain kick your irrational brain and hopefully shuts it up.

If you find you cannot do this (not everyone is rational enough to use mindfulness) then I would suggest reading the following book:

An Aspie's Guide to Overcoming Anxiety - Attwood, Tony, Evans, Craig R., Lesko, Anita (2015)
eISBN 9781784501198

There are a lot more tips in this.

Lastly I would suggest getting a therapist (with autism experience) to work through the issues with - they should be trained to do this. They are not cheap but probably the most effective way.

I will keep it in mind. Thank you for the advice!

Anxiety is a tough one. It's not really something we can get rid of because it's an innate response. The best we can do is understand ourselves as much as possible; know our triggers and find relaxing ways to 'ride the anxiety waves'.

If I'm reading your post correctly, it might be worth researching rejection sensitivity dysphoria. For me, knowledge is power, and when I have an understanding as to what is causing me to feel something strongly, I'm better equipped to regulate myself more effectively.

One thing I learned throughout my diagnosis journey was that things are rarely (if ever) 'only in my head'. I've found this to be a very reductive over used term that seems to place shame on an individual (and shame does not heal anything). Given that neurodivergent individuals are usually bottom-up processors (rather than top-down) it's a very inaccurate way to describe our internal mechanisms. We are, for the most part, sensory beings who struggle to regulate our internal and external responses to stimuli.

My advice would be to focus on things that help you to regulate your nervous system. For me, this includes walks along the beach, listening to music, exercising in water, eating healthy comforting food, trying to get enough sleep, slow deep breathing, cuddles with my dog, showering, gaming, and watching movies (there's probably more, but these are what currently come to mind).

Learning mindfulness was very helpful for me. Being present in the moments and learning that only now is useful if that makes sense. Breathing techniques while focusing on the present aswell. Hope this helps 

If it's hysterical, it's historical.

It's natural to react that way. What we need to remind ourselves is to not react to those thoughts.

One of the main reasons I ended up going to get a diagnosis was the recurring rumination, it was debilitating.

I still get them, but I know now that they're not real and I need to shut them down and think of something else straight away. It's not easy, it feels like you're ignoring your instincts, but even if you think about thinking about them, you're giving them fuel and they'll grow.

Try and see them as being completely unrealistic, reassure yourself that they're not real thoughts they're just your brain trying to sabotage your wellbeing....

Maybe ask yourself how likely these things are to happen?

If it's historical stuff popping up, then remind yourself that you don't live there anymore.

Drink some chamomile tea?

Distractions help me best. My therapist said when negativity creeps in do something I enjoy to distract my mind, pushing said thoughts away. It isn't always easy to find the motivation to actually do something but it does help to distract rather than sit and think.

Walking is one of the best distractions for me. If you have a camera you could take photos as you walk, I do this, sometimes I will listen to music on my phone if I'm not feeling over sensitive to sound.

Other distractions that might help:

• Colouring
• Watching a film
• Reading
• Listening to music
• Singing
• Drawing.

((drawing)) I carry a little book with me and doodle in that, helps to distract me when feeling overwhelmed by anxiety.

I hope some of this will be of use to you. Anxiety is no fun. 

Feel better soon