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Advice on relationship

Dana

Hi. I've been trying to look for an advice on a particular relationship. I am friends with a guy, and we reconnected on July. We are long distance, he is in Switzerland, I am in the UK. 

We have been flirting for a couple of months until last week. He doesn't use winking emojis anymore when he is texting me. We even have shorter conversations. We used to have long conversations. I have a feeling that he is not interested in me anymore. I think he is not interested in me anymore because I told him about a friend, and basically I clarified that she is my friend's friend. He thinks that I lied, but I am not sure. 

What would be the best advice? Should I text him if he lost interest in me? I would like to get a clarification. 

Parents

  • Communication is *always* what you need to keep relationships going. Ask yourself this: If he is already getting suspicious that you are lying to him two months into your relationship, is this someone you can truly be open with in five years? Ten, even? 

    It is plausible that he is busy with work and doesn't have as much time as he used to for chatting with you. Maybe he doesn't see how the lack of Emojis affects you emotionally. It's always best to talk these things through as soon as you notice problems so they can be resolved without leaving hard feelings behind. 

    Here's one more thing to think about: What do you have to lose by asking him where he stands with you? It would of course, hurt, if he said he was no longer interested in you but you would be able to move on without that uncertainity weighing you down. But if that is the worst case scenario, do you truly have anything to fear?

  • in reply to Paraducks

    He mentioned to me one day that we are not yet boyfriend and girlfriend when he explained to me what a certain word means. I found explanations of that word, one of them is that it is an endearment thing.

  • in reply to Dana

    Like I said, it feels like the vast majority of what you have brought up are things you should approach him with when the opportunity presents itself. Try to have a longer chat than normal on a day where you both have the time to say your thoughts in full, and make your decision from there. The longer you leave it, the worse you will feel. 

    Is there anything stopping you from sending a text to ask how he feels? 

  • in reply to Paraducks

    I am just concerned with his sudden coldness. He is not using emojis anymore, his replies are short, and today, he told me he is having lunch in 15 minutes (Swiss time) while it was 11 am in UK for me. 

    Doesn't it sound a little mean? 

  • in reply to Paraducks

    I already texted him, saying "I've noticed outer conversations have been shorter than usual. Is everything okay between us?"

  • in reply to Dana

    I agree, which is why I think you have to word that question (if you choose to ask it at all) carefully as you have rightly described. It's hard to judge how to approach this properly as everyone is different, but I think you should try to think about why you are still interested and how to express it in text. It might get him to open up about the things he still finds interesting about you.

  • in reply to Paraducks

    However,if I am going to ask him why he is not interested anymore, I will come off as desperate and clingy, which will turn him off. That is not my intention at all.

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