Which of your parents do you believe is/was/might be/could have been autistic?

Hi Debbie, I "upvoted" your comment because I empathise with you, not because I like it that your mother had affairs too.

Lotus said:

my mother had continual affairs,

Ditto.

Jury is out for me too - not sure if my "dad" was even my genetic parent, as my mother had continual affairs, and I don't think it's common for autistic people to repeatedly break their marriage vows?

I think that maybe my mother's sister was on the spectrum. I stayed with her in the summer holidays a couple of times and looking back now at her behaviour I can see a lot of anxiety.

I think my dad. He wasn't in my life very much at all, but it explains a lot and I am a lot like him despite him not being an influence. He bounced his leg and spent his last 20 years in his room with his old photos and photoshop.

I think both parents have autistic/ADHD traits - but I see the strongest indications in my paternal grandma. As I get older I find myself relating more and more to her way of being. She appeared to be a very cold individual but with the benefit of hindsight I can see that she probably just struggled with social interaction.

My  father had different neurodiverse conditions, he was definitely dyslexic and also had dysgraphia. He never really went to school yet he was brilliant at maths. His constant meltdowns were just treated as part of our normal life. His mother was a very ‘cold’ woman with no emotions, she had loads of brass ornaments that she would polish and display in the exact same positions.

Both my parents dislike social occasions and have no filters, my mother has been ‘sectioned’ more times than I can remember or try to remember, it’s never been explained why this happens. 

Thank you for your replies.

My mum and dad both show signs of being on the spectrum but I would say more so my mum, she and I are very similar and she also has synesthesia, like I do so we have a lot in common. Whereas my dad has shutdown where when he gets stressed and things get too much he can't speak or move, he just sits and stares at the wall or his hands.

OCD is another thing my mum has, we're very similar in this regard as we both do certain things like entering a room on a minute exactly rather than like 1 min 2 seconds. It HAS to be on the minute. I did this at school, got me in to a lot of trouble at the time but also led to my diagnosis.

Neither are diagnosed, I've suggested it but they don't want to sadly.

I do see a lot of autism in them both in different ways.

Sparkly-Temporary Account said:

. As an adolescent, his best friend seemed to be a cow at a farm that he helped out on. This always makes me chuckle, but when my mother's youngest sibling was born, he was asked if he would like to choose her middle name, and so opted for the cow's name.

I love that

My mother, as my relatives on her side of the family all seem to have traits.

My mother's brother (in particular) has what I consider to be some rather obvious ASD traits. He hates social functions and will avoid them if at all possible, and will also go out of his way to avoid having his photo taken. As an adolescent, his best friend seemed to be a cow at a farm that he helped out on. This always makes me chuckle, but when my mother's youngest sibling was born, he was asked if he would like to choose her middle name, and so opted for the cow's name. In addition, he likes trains and seems to have an encyclopaedic knowledge of the rail network. Finally, he has never had any desire (as far as I know) to be in a relationship.

However, I have started to wonder about my deceased dad and his side of the family.

I wonder about both of mine, my Dad was a bit strange, but then so was his upbringing so it's hard to know how much was that and how much might have been ASC. I really do wonder about my Mum sometimes though, her brain seems to work more like mine than almost anyone elses and she's clumsy or dyspraxic and always has been, like me there's somethings that just don't make sense to her and no amount of explaination or showing her makes any difference.

Neither. My mother was sensitive to noises and had allergies, but she always seemed to be adept enough socially as far as I can tell. My great nephew has been officially diagnosed though, but I've never met him.