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Did something really hard and I’m proud of myself

Rach91

Hi so late last night my friend messaged me saying he had to take his dad into hospital he then messaged me really early this morning to say his dad had a suspected heart attack. I woke up early to feed my dog then I relied to my friend and said to keep in contact and to try and get some rest today as he had been up all night. He replied and thanked me for my support and sent me a virtual hug. I then went back to sleep for a few hours, then I got up and I had to pop into town to go to the job centre after my appointment I phoned my friend and said do you want me to pop around for an hour keep you company and said it’s ok if you don’t want that I’m only offering. That was really hard for me to do as I lost my mum to a heart condition the same friend had a heart a year ago and that was hard for me to go through again after my mum. Anyway my friend said yes come over he really needed a friend to be with him. Turns out it wasn’t a heart attack and his dad has been discharged and has come home. My friend gave me a massive hug and a kiss on the cheek and really appreciated me going to see him. He gave me a life home and then went over his dads. I cried in the car because I was so emotional and you they say people with autism don’t feel empathy well today I proved them wrong because I did feel empathy. I lost my mum to a heart condition not a heart attack but still and I really felt the way Rikki was feeling I could really put myself in his shoes and I actually swallowed my pride and rang him to see if I could pop over and I’m so proud of myself for doing that and I know Rikki would do the exact same thing with me. 

Parents

  • Well done Rach. Slight smile

    I believe we just feel empathy in a different way. There are different types, as described below (extract from the 'very well mind' website)

    - Affective empathy involves the ability to understand another person's emotions and respond appropriately. Such emotional understanding may lead to someone feeling concerned for another person's well-being, or it may lead to feelings of personal distress.

    - Somatic empathy involves having a physical reaction in response to what someone else is experiencing. People sometimes physically experience what another person is feeling. (I have also heard this described as emotional empathy)

    - Cognitive empathy involves being able to understand another person's mental state and what they might be thinking in response to the situation. This is related to what psychologists refer to as the theory of mind, or thinking about what other people are thinking.

    I think you were demonstrating affective empathy, because you were able to understand how your friend might be feeling and because you were concerned for his well being and were able to respond in an appropriate way, but you were probably also feeling some personal distress because you had been in that situation, and also because you don't want your friend to be upset. It seems you also experienced somatic (emotional) empathy when you cried in the car (as this can cause us to "catch" another person's emotions)

    Cognitive empathy is the type that I think autistic people do not have so much of - as I understand it, it is more about thinking about another person's situation rather than feeling it yourself, which is a useful type of empathy if you are in a caring profession and need to help others without becoming overloaded or burnt out.

    You did very well today, as you really showed your caring side and I'm sure you really helped your friend. I hope his dad is doing well.

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  • Well done Rach. Slight smile

    I believe we just feel empathy in a different way. There are different types, as described below (extract from the 'very well mind' website)

    - Affective empathy involves the ability to understand another person's emotions and respond appropriately. Such emotional understanding may lead to someone feeling concerned for another person's well-being, or it may lead to feelings of personal distress.

    - Somatic empathy involves having a physical reaction in response to what someone else is experiencing. People sometimes physically experience what another person is feeling. (I have also heard this described as emotional empathy)

    - Cognitive empathy involves being able to understand another person's mental state and what they might be thinking in response to the situation. This is related to what psychologists refer to as the theory of mind, or thinking about what other people are thinking.

    I think you were demonstrating affective empathy, because you were able to understand how your friend might be feeling and because you were concerned for his well being and were able to respond in an appropriate way, but you were probably also feeling some personal distress because you had been in that situation, and also because you don't want your friend to be upset. It seems you also experienced somatic (emotional) empathy when you cried in the car (as this can cause us to "catch" another person's emotions)

    Cognitive empathy is the type that I think autistic people do not have so much of - as I understand it, it is more about thinking about another person's situation rather than feeling it yourself, which is a useful type of empathy if you are in a caring profession and need to help others without becoming overloaded or burnt out.

    You did very well today, as you really showed your caring side and I'm sure you really helped your friend. I hope his dad is doing well.

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