Autistic Adults: how can things be improved?

Pixiefox said:

1. Diagnosis for adults - does this really have to be done by a medical professional

Yes. This is due to the diagnosis being one of a disability and the corresponding impact it has on benefits, extra rights etc.

If you want to know if you are neurodiverse then it is easy enough to self diagnose but the label can be a game changer and needs to have gatekeepers to stop it being abused.

Pixiefox said:

Employers - should be required to take training in autism

A nice idea in principal but from having worked in management and in the trenches I know that management have to learn so much stuff and often don't get the time that the stuff that has less impact on the bottom line for the company is often left as a "one day we'll do it" option.

It would be great to have but realistically is isn't going to happen.

Pixiefox said:

3. Businesses - shops, cafes, public transport, etc, should stop having music playing and loud tannoy announcements

Only some autists have hearing sensitivity so even if it is half then that makes up 1% of the population. Are we really going to expect the other 99% to change what they do when we are quite capable of wearing noise cancelling headphones?

I get where you are coming from with these suggestions but I have a very pragmatic view here that we are being seen as the tail wagging the dog by pushing for all these changes when so few of us are out in these environments anyway.

Personally I think we need to learn to adapt to fit in. It won't work for all of us but those that can't/won't adapt are probably going to struggle even if all the changes are made anyway.

I think we need to learn how to protect our sensitive parts (sunglasses for bright lights, earphones for loud environments, mask for sensitive noses etc) and try to find environments that are more tolerable when needed.

Spreading awareness is going to be much better on the uptake when we can present positive examples of us in the media rather than being seen as needy, demanding and whiny and forcing people to make lots of accommodations for us.

It is a slow process so best if we take control of managing our sensitivities in the meantime.

It would really help if we weren't such a mixed bag of needs - that difficulty in people being able to identify us actually makes it look as if we are making it up or have a different mental health issue.

Seeing as most people are wearing some kind of ear piece usually connected to thier phone where they can listen to thier own music etc as well as take calls, I don't see why music is required in shops. For those of us with PTSD ear pieces can make us more jittery and hyper vigilant, as we can't hear people coming up behind us or whats going on properly. Having someone come up behind a PTSD sufferer and touch them on the shoulder or speaking loudly to attract attention, can cause flashbacks, meltdowns and some of us react violently when surprised and then go on to have all of the previous.

I can't protect my nose or mouth adaquately with a mask, I'm not just sensitive to smells, but allergic to the contents of the smelly things, I can do things like avoid the stinky aisle in the supermarket, the ones with all the laundry stuff, but I can't avoid perfumes and smelly things entirely. Having you face swell up is really really scary, the headaches and being able to taste smelly stuff for hours after is annoying.

I've yet to find a pair of sunglasses that are dark enough to be worth the hassle, also when the sun's bright, it tends to be hot and I sweat and the sunglasses steam up and slide down my nose.

I'm not trying to be difficult here, but to explain some of the difficulties I face and I'm sure are faced by others too.

TheCatWoman said:

I'm not trying to be difficult here, but to explain some of the difficulties I face and I'm sure are faced by others too

I guess it comes down to 2 things as to whether we can expect changes to these things:

1 - is it cost effective. Does it cost way more than any benefit it brings?

The cost here is not just how much the change makes but the impact on business too.

If you imagine a music shop (do these still exist?) where they could not play music because it may upset any autists then they would probably fall out of favour from the majority of their clientel.

Supermarkets pump the smell of their ovens to the shop to make people smell fresh bread which makes them hungry and buy more (I was a management trainee in a supermaket once long ago so learned the psychology behind their methods) - removing this means people would buy less.

The same about festive music - it gets most people "in the mood" for whatever the season is and gets them buying the merchandise.

As for the detergent smells in the supermarket, this is just a by product of the packaging contamination from the filling process or damaged items in transit. It is likely to be impractical to ever fix so I would focus on finding a way to get a facemask that works for you instead of hoping for a change to the industry packaging and shipping processes that will cost lots and deliver little for them.

2 - re your PTSD, I really don't think that there will be ways to cater for every special need such as this. I have a family member that hates silences and needs noise aroud them all the time. Unfortunately they have a strong need to be talking to others so headphones are not an option and to implement the silent solution you prefer would deny them the comfort blanket they use to deal with their own issues.

I don't think we can cater for everyone so the focus should be on the majority with accommodations for the minorities where practical. Those who fall through the cracks need to sort themselves out with ways to exist in this society.

My approach to this is to look at the bigger picture and see what is sensible to ask for, so we have a hope to achieve this while finding ways to co-exist.

I don't think everyones needs can be catered for either, if it were me and if we had any I wouldn't go into a music shop as I know it would irritate me. Likewise tannoys in supermarkets they're a nessercary evil.

My way of existing within society is to take myself away from most of it, I have to stand down wind of people who stink of laundry products, which can be a bit difficult when going to Holyhead as the whole place smells of weed and febreeze, especially afgter a ferry's docked. I don't eat out or have take-aways, because few places cater for my needs and many of them stink of meat. I shut the doors and windows on summer aternoons, as soon as anyone starts the BBQ up. I wish I could avoid getting the waft of cooking bacon and burgers from the many food trucks and fish and chip shops make me want to heave, it smells really disgusting to me.

I couldn't be around people who need noise all the time and need to be constantly voicing every thought that passes through thier heads, one of us would kill the other.

I just wish in some ways I wasn't so considerate of other peoples right to do things that trigger me, turn me into a jibbering heap, leave me sweating inside on a summers day, make me feel sick, I'd love to be able to go out for a meal or get a take away, instead of beans on toast.  But I'm not an unreasonable and selfish person to take these pleasures away from others, I just wish that sometimes, just sometimes, once a year even that I could do these things and go to these places without feeling ill, or being ill, or risking being ill.

I don't think everyones needs can be catered for either, if it were me and if we had any I wouldn't go into a music shop as I know it would irritate me. Likewise tannoys in supermarkets they're a nessercary evil.

My way of existing within society is to take myself away from most of it, I have to stand down wind of people who stink of laundry products, which can be a bit difficult when going to Holyhead as the whole place smells of weed and febreeze, especially afgter a ferry's docked. I don't eat out or have take-aways, because few places cater for my needs and many of them stink of meat. I shut the doors and windows on summer aternoons, as soon as anyone starts the BBQ up. I wish I could avoid getting the waft of cooking bacon and burgers from the many food trucks and fish and chip shops make me want to heave, it smells really disgusting to me.

I couldn't be around people who need noise all the time and need to be constantly voicing every thought that passes through thier heads, one of us would kill the other.

I just wish in some ways I wasn't so considerate of other peoples right to do things that trigger me, turn me into a jibbering heap, leave me sweating inside on a summers day, make me feel sick, I'd love to be able to go out for a meal or get a take away, instead of beans on toast.  But I'm not an unreasonable and selfish person to take these pleasures away from others, I just wish that sometimes, just sometimes, once a year even that I could do these things and go to these places without feeling ill, or being ill, or risking being ill.