Did you receive a very late autism diagnosis/realisation?

I think this is a great idea for a thread.

Let me start off. I was diagnosed at 54 after my partners brother who had not long been diagnosed with ADHD suggested that I displayed some traits. I did my research and discovered I related to so much. I went to my GP got put on the NHS waiting list. I was told it could be as much as 2-4 years wait. I went private (lucky I could afford it) as I was having issues at work being blamed for so many things to do with communication.

Pros of diagnosis:

• Explained a lot about me and my life.
• I would be able to ask for reasonable adjustments to help
• I could seek out meaningful support.
• I could get to know the real me, not the me who thought he was broken all his life.
• I understood my drive and focus.
• Managed to get a disabled parking badge

Cons:

• It turned my world upside down.
• Grief overcame me at the missed opportunities in my past.
• Opened old psychological wounds that I thought had healed.
• Not knowing who the real me was and what was masking.
• Discovered that masking has many layers.
• I fear that my diagnosis has ended my career due to bias and discrimination at work. It is very unlikely that I would find another job in my profession due to the niche nature of my profession. I thought that I would be supported at work but this has been used to  manage me out due to my needs meaning that I would need managed in a different way. A way my management thinks will make their jobs a little harder.

I am 50/50 at the moment well maybe 70/30 about the pros outweighing the cons but that would be dependent on winning a potential tribunal case and getting awarded reasonable damages.

I know now about burnout and have been in and out of burnout for most of my working life.

I do agree that there is so many undiagnosed adults out there and there is no real support for us.

Mr T said:

I fear that my diagnosis has ended my career due to bias and discrimination at work.

I think that, for many working-age folk, this is a massive (and very real/potent) concern.

that is so sad but thats why i diddnt come out during my working life, i just didnt trust people to be able to look past that label.  You hear that society is more aware and nondiscriminatory these days but  its not. People fear what is different

Pipe said:

You hear that society is more aware and nondiscriminatory these days but  its not. People fear what is different

I think a lot of this is because we force society to be more accepting in a legal sense while not really addressing the underlying prejudices that remain.

When I was diagnosed in my mid 50s a few years ago I experienced lots of prejudice from family and co-workers when I disclosed the situation. They seemed to fall into 3 camps:

1 - so what? These were more or less accepting but because I had been masking for years they thought I was just making it up. Very few knew anything in detail about what autism meant.

2 - no you're not! These vocal minority thought they knew me and were annoyed that I was claiming to be something else - possibly something lesser in their eyes. This group mostly moved from friends to partial enemies over it.

3 - oh god, is it infectious? This group who I could get on well with before stigmatised me and wanted nothing to do with me as if I were infectious or somehow dangerous to be around.

The people around me were of all ages but the older ones were by far the worst.

With the benefit of what I know now, I would have kept my diagnosis to myself.

Pipe said:

You hear that society is more aware and nondiscriminatory these days but  its not. People fear what is different

I think a lot of this is because we force society to be more accepting in a legal sense while not really addressing the underlying prejudices that remain.

When I was diagnosed in my mid 50s a few years ago I experienced lots of prejudice from family and co-workers when I disclosed the situation. They seemed to fall into 3 camps:

1 - so what? These were more or less accepting but because I had been masking for years they thought I was just making it up. Very few knew anything in detail about what autism meant.

2 - no you're not! These vocal minority thought they knew me and were annoyed that I was claiming to be something else - possibly something lesser in their eyes. This group mostly moved from friends to partial enemies over it.

3 - oh god, is it infectious? This group who I could get on well with before stigmatised me and wanted nothing to do with me as if I were infectious or somehow dangerous to be around.

The people around me were of all ages but the older ones were by far the worst.

With the benefit of what I know now, I would have kept my diagnosis to myself.