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The trials of living with a NT partner

orderlyaut

Hoping people's perspectives can help guide me here...

3+months ago, my partner moved in with me, in to my house. It wasn't until we started having little disagreements about things that I realised that I'm my authentic self when I'm at home and I mask/cope when I'm elsewhere. It's this which has really made me start my journey on path a of self-discovery. I've thought for years that I'm on the spectrum but it wasn't until I started sharing my space (for the first time) that I realised how much. 

I've seen a few posts about where ASD ends and where my personality starts and it's this which is making me a bit anxious in terms of trying to live how I feel I need to in my own home, with a partner, versus having to compromise and not be truly happy with the situation. I feel that I'm doing my best giving reasoning why certain things need to be a certain way, they are largely appreciated, but then forgotten and then having to repeat myself then causes issues. 

I realise that some of the more minor issues are just what NT people would face, so I'm having to battle with them, as well as my ND needs.

Any advice on what others have found to work would be appreciated.

  • in reply to orderlyaut

    Do you mean like mentalizing? There is a good technique called DEARMAN I learnt in life skills. Have a look on YouTube.

  • in reply to SHZ

    Well welcome back and thank you for your advice. I think I'm doing my best at not trying to not say things in an annoyed tone. I guess I'll need to just keep an eye on whether I'm actually doing what I think I am. I'm aware that it's now their home too, but struggle a little with putting myself in their shoes.

  • Hi - I have recently joined on here after some time away and can relate to this. My husband of 6 years (together 9) has a learning disability and I was only diagnosed with my Autism in Aug 23. I like things a certain way and it can cause irritabilty or more so boarding on anger sometimes if I dont communicate my feelings in a healthy way. It is early days there though and you can start to express how you feel. I moved into my husbands first home after living alone for 8 years.