Advice to support my daughter

Hi, afraid I don't really have any advice rn, but wanted to let you know someone was listening.

Thankyou so much Becca it's nice to get a reply.

Ok, I've had a think. That's great that she is doing well enough to take the step of getting a part time job. It should help her communication skills and confidence.

For me, little steps are the key to success. Small changes, over time, that I can adjust to at my own pace. Something similar might be true for your daughter.

When I was burnt out, the absolute best thing for me was that my mum was my safe space. She never judged, but allowed me to be vulnerable and picked up the slack until I was able to.  She didn't push me, but trusted that I would push myself when I was better.

For most autistics(but not all) we are living outside our comfort zone on a daily basis, so it may not look like we are progressing from a neurotypical standpoint, but the key is, for me certainly, growth can only happen from inside my comfort zone. I need to expand that comfort zone, not step outside of it.

If your daughter struggles with confrontation, could you perhaps reframe it as problem solving, something with a range of outcomes that you need to find the most effective way to the best possible outcome? And maybe discussing it in an abstract way would make her feel less like she is being attacked (for me, any criticism, however helpful, feels like a personal attack on my entire being, that I am the worst person ever....because I forgot to, for example, re-set the props after a show. It's not logical, but a visceral emotional reaction, which is worse when I am tired or stressed).

So for example if she struggles with focus, you could use a personal example where you have struggled with focusing on something and maybe troubleshoot ideas to help stay on track. If she sees that other people can struggle with the same things too and have found ways around it, maybe it would help her adjust to her new working environment.

Of course, it may just be that this isn't the job for her. Not everyone is suited to everything. If it doesn't work out, remember that that's ok, it was a learning process. She will still have gained something from it, and should think of it not as a failure but as a stepping stone to the next thing.

Thankyou so much for your reply Becca. Yes the job had done her the world of good. It's just when she's told she's done things wrong that it upsets her and I would hate for her to lose it and it knock her confidence because of the progress she's made.

It's really helpful to to get any advice from someone that's also neurodiverse so I can try to understand how she sees things.

I'm more than happy to talk anything through with her and work together on this but she's not really one for talking about how she feels, but can talk for hours about something that interest her.

I will definately take your reply on board. I'm always telling her that it doesn't matter how small steps she's taking. The most important thing is that she's moving forward.

Some people at her work are very patient and understanding of her but to others she's not doing her job properly and they think she should go.

Anyway I will keep trying to be there for her the best I can and again thankyou so much for your insight, I really appreciate it. I know it might seem trivial to the struggles some people have on here.

Thankyou so much for your reply Becca. Yes the job had done her the world of good. It's just when she's told she's done things wrong that it upsets her and I would hate for her to lose it and it knock her confidence because of the progress she's made.

It's really helpful to to get any advice from someone that's also neurodiverse so I can try to understand how she sees things.

I'm more than happy to talk anything through with her and work together on this but she's not really one for talking about how she feels, but can talk for hours about something that interest her.

I will definately take your reply on board. I'm always telling her that it doesn't matter how small steps she's taking. The most important thing is that she's moving forward.

Some people at her work are very patient and understanding of her but to others she's not doing her job properly and they think she should go.

Anyway I will keep trying to be there for her the best I can and again thankyou so much for your insight, I really appreciate it. I know it might seem trivial to the struggles some people have on here.