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Being a carer for my mother is killing ne

NAS96459
18 hours ago

Hi Everyone

I'm a late diagnosed late 50s woman looking after my mother in her home. I've been doing it for 4 and a half years. I have two carers coming in 4x a day. I find the health care given overwhelming. I deal with her GP and EVERYTHING else. The constant intrusion, discussions with social services, GP, paramedics are just killing me. I've often felt suicidal.

The health service saves money by my labour and put more and more on me. There's also dealing with workmen as well. My home isn't my own. I feel under siege and bullied. I'm high functioning, but cracking under the strain.

I want an advocate to help me through those discussions, but also considering putting my mother into private care as well. There was one called PoHWER but my local council no longer has a contract with them.

I have three brothers, but one lives abroad, another one has his own issues and the other benefits from me looking after my mother and so wouldn't really be an advocate at all.

I just don't want to keep having all of these people in my house. Does anyone know of an advocate service I could use? Carers organisations don't seem to consider autistic people in my situation.

Parents
  • 2 hours ago

    Hi sorry you're going through this. Have you tried Voiceability advocacy? I would ask if you could have a review of your situation as a carer, and ask for  a Care Act Advocate. 

    I would explain you have autism and that you need support to explain your situation to social services,  that you feel you can't continue as a carer. 

    The Care Act is the legislation that is used when Care and support is put in place by social services. 

    • ""When a carer may need an advocate
      A carer may need an advocate if they have difficulty being involved in the Care and Support process. This could be due to the carer not having an appropriate person to support them, such as a family member or friend. ""
Reply
  • 2 hours ago

    Hi sorry you're going through this. Have you tried Voiceability advocacy? I would ask if you could have a review of your situation as a carer, and ask for  a Care Act Advocate. 

    I would explain you have autism and that you need support to explain your situation to social services,  that you feel you can't continue as a carer. 

    The Care Act is the legislation that is used when Care and support is put in place by social services. 

    • ""When a carer may need an advocate
      A carer may need an advocate if they have difficulty being involved in the Care and Support process. This could be due to the carer not having an appropriate person to support them, such as a family member or friend. ""
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