Struggling with work.

Hi, I’m new here.

I’m an autistic adult (28 years old) and I’ve been on ESA ever since I left school. In recent years I’ve tackled my anxiety more and have been trying to better manage my ASD and how it affects me. I love the idea of working with children, even when I was at school I knew then I’d want to work with young children when I was older. I’ve managed to land a great position at a preschool which I go into every now and then, and I absolutely love it when I’m in there, and the children and staff all like me.

But, I can’t sustain it. Anxiety hits me hard after I’ve been in. I’m exhausted, need to sleep because I’m so drained and then comes lots of dizziness with the tiredness – feels like pre-burnout – and this is stopping me from succeeding in working. Currently my work is on a volunteering basis, the team lead has expressed how they would love for me to work there properly, but so far I’ve been unable to because of my anxiety and burnout effects after a day of working.

Please help me with this!!! I have no idea where to turn to and how to get past this problem. I’ve always dreamed of being in work, and I’m this close… but I just can’t get there. I try and every time I can’t do it. It’s soo damn frustrating.

The good news is the team at the nursery are extremely understanding and supportive. On days when I can’t bring myself to go in they are more than supportive, for which I am very grateful to them all.

But I worry that they’ll stop understanding and that one day they’ll not want to offer me a job if I can’t get over this humungous hurdle.

Please help. I’m desperate and open to all suggestions!

TYIA - Zero.