Published on 12, July, 2020
I've never seen the point of weddings, especially the big fancy ones costing tens of thousands. All the traditions around them like black cats, something old, something new something borrowed and something blue, the ride and groom not seeing them until the ceremoney and the groom not being allowed to see the wedding dress, all that stuff. Let alone the embarassment of having to do it all IN PUBLIC!
But you can marry without bankrupting yourself. I don't get all the traditions around weddings, where did they all come from and how did they start?
I'm not a ceremonial person, I can't be doing with to much ritual and as I say doing it in public makes my skin crawl.
There are lots of things I value, but I don't feel the need to have a ceremony about them.
Yes it is possible to have a cheaper wedding! And to pick and choose which traditions to bother with or not. We saved money by hiring the local church hall not a posh hotel, and doing the decor ourselves with help from friends and family, letting the church ladies do the flowers in the church and various other ways. Our wedding was lovely, personal to us and not overly expensive. My cousin got married the same year as me, but chose to save money by limiting who got invited, which is another approach.
I'm not generally a ceremony person either, but weddings aren't just about one person. Mostly the couple, but also to some level the family and friends depending on how close one is to them. And if they have a religious faith that can be an important aspect. I agree in not understanding why anyone would bankrupt themselves on fancy crap for a single day when it is not that hard to have a lovely wedding on a small budget. I could have done it on a smaller budget too if my parents had wanted to spend less.
I was not bothered about how many people were there as I have done academic talks and performed music in front of more people, which was scarier. Poor husband had to take max dose of imodium though! Even though he had also done drama to try and overcome fear of audiences, but he never managed to shake that fear.
As for where traditions start, you have studied history and stuff, people have always marked transitions, birth, death, coming of age, marriage etc. Not everyone probably feels the need, but enough people find them important to mark by doing something. Many of the traditions will also be marking tribal identity too. I don't know specifically where ours all come from, not looked into it, it might be interesting, but I have other things I am more interested in at the moment.