Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, advice needed!
I recently joined a social group for autistic people at my university, the first meeting was more enjoyable than I anticipated but I really struggled with one of the participants who had a loud voice. While I don’t want to expect other people to have to mask a lot in this situation, I definitely felt uncomfortable and found it quite overwhelming. Would it be reasonable to ask the organisers if they could speak to this person (who has been going for longer than I have/seems to have a good rapport with the organisers/staff) and ask them to lower their voice? I feel like an ass asking them to moderate themselves in a group like this but equally I’d really like to keep going (I have very few friends my own age) and don’t want to snap at them by accident.
(please note I don’t think I’m the only person who felt a little like this, several other people also became more open/talkative after they left)
Yeah I have this problem with a person from my course.
The issue is, they have a disability that causes them to be loud and to struggle controlling when they speak. So we're both being affected by our disabilities in conflicting ways.
The solution I found is that I put my fingers in my ears when they talk, but I went and explained it to them before hand in private and they totally understood and were fine with it. The neurotypicals in the class less so, but it's none of their business.
Rather than talking to your teacher, who may or may not understand, I recommend talking directly to them. Explain it's a disability and you'll take steps, but it's not because you don't want to hear what they say.
I like this answer. If they are autistic, then they are less likely to be offended than an NT.
NTs in my experience like taking sides. I've had to not work with certain people before, because we drive each other up the wall with our different stims interfering with each others sensory issues. So we sit at opposite sides of the room and that's fine.
However, some NTs feel the need to decide who is 'more worthy' of disability accommodations based on whatever they thought the criteria were, completely disregarding our opinions on it.