Dear all,
I will summarise as much as possible to make things clear.
I have been with my partner for two years and I love him. In this journey together, we have discovered that he is autistic. He has two teenage almost adult sons, one of them with Asperger's.
During these 2 years , I have been hurt many times, but always told myself/ excused him as he is autistic.
My problem now is that I don't know where the autism ends and the conscious decision starts.
To summarise:
I have not been introduced to anyone in his family and I haven't been introduced to his children.
We do not live together and I am not allowed in his flat.
He has been divorced for more than 10 years and told me his ex was controlling, yet he meets his sons 3 times a week, including saturday and sunday at her place. Because of that reason, we have never spent a weekend together.
They go on holiday together as a family once a year
He often omits to tell me things regarding his schedule or outright lie about various things. Sometimes I do not understand why the lies as they do not hide anything malicious but it makes it hard for me to trust him.
Our meetings are always based on his schedule. I am always prioritising him and would be happy to drop my plans to be with him. If I was busy, he would not mind seeing me less and he would certainly not drop his plans to see me more.
Finally, I have asked him to buy me a cheap ring as a symbol of commitment. I mean something very cheap, not a diamond ring and I was clear that i did not want an engagement ring, just a token of commitment. He told me he did not find anything.
I have find that some of the behaviours do fit with the autistic mind, but at the same time, it seems to me that I am just a thing on the side, really at the bottom of his priority list.
I am happy to work on this if knowledgeable people on this website could explain to me that- yes he does this because it is typical of an autistic person...( for example, I know how much hobbies are important and I have never tried to prevent him from doing what he likes) but i can t find any excuse for not being introduced to his family or for him to refuse to give me a cheap ring.
anyway, before I make the decision of saying goodbye, I wanted to make sure I am making the correct decision with full knowledge. Any help/guidance will be much appreciated.