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How do you tackle the feeling of "I'm not where I want to be in life"?

HMO

I don't really compare myself to others as much as I used to, but this isn't about that.

I'm 27. I've regressed as I've gotten older, I've become more anxious and find it extremely difficult to ask for things when I *need* them, which subsequently gets me into avoidable sticky situations.

I feel like I was expected to know what I wanted to do while I was at school (and I'm probably not alone in that) and I just didn't. I didn't go to university so upon turning 18, I felt completely lost. It was as though the world told me, "you're on your own now, and you're not allowed to ask for help because being an adult means being independent etc". Me, an autistic person, thinking literally? Surely not...

I feel like there's lots of opportunities I missed out on. Whether it be me not asking for help, not networking more, not grabbing things because I was afraid etc. 

I feel like I'm getting on a bit now, and that I've missed my chance. I don't feel you get many opportunities now, and it feels like I'm going to be playing catch-up for the rest of my life.

This is a bit more vent-y than I was going for but it's something I've recently struggled with.

Parents

  • As I age it gets easier to find things to appreciate right in front of me, no matter how skewed from my expectations they are. It is expectations (our own, or those of others for us) that make for disappointments.

    I would first remind myself that I am an eternal being with many lives to look forward to so there is no rush. there is only this here now. There are no wrong or right answers, just choices along the byway.There is no "game over". every moment brings it's own openings and closures.

    Where ever I am that's where I must start from.

    So The first is to relax and enjoy the moments for what they can offer as they arise and steer the boat towards that which feels the most rewarding as possibilities present themselves. Even if I can't "complete" the journey, I have embarked on it and found many other wonderful new perspectives along the way.

    I try to think like Leif Erickson who went on many journeys exploring. His dream was to discover the land of his visions, along the way he discovered many other wonders and was learned scholar along the way.

    Here is a great little book to start with:

    https://www.amazon.com/Start-Where-You-Are-Compassionate/dp/161180597X

Reply

  • As I age it gets easier to find things to appreciate right in front of me, no matter how skewed from my expectations they are. It is expectations (our own, or those of others for us) that make for disappointments.

    I would first remind myself that I am an eternal being with many lives to look forward to so there is no rush. there is only this here now. There are no wrong or right answers, just choices along the byway.There is no "game over". every moment brings it's own openings and closures.

    Where ever I am that's where I must start from.

    So The first is to relax and enjoy the moments for what they can offer as they arise and steer the boat towards that which feels the most rewarding as possibilities present themselves. Even if I can't "complete" the journey, I have embarked on it and found many other wonderful new perspectives along the way.

    I try to think like Leif Erickson who went on many journeys exploring. His dream was to discover the land of his visions, along the way he discovered many other wonders and was learned scholar along the way.

    Here is a great little book to start with:

    https://www.amazon.com/Start-Where-You-Are-Compassionate/dp/161180597X

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