Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello,
I've recently been diagnosed with Autism/ASD and I'm also being assessed for ADHD in November.
All day, every day I mask my true self to my colleagues at work, and I've been doing it for such a long time, I've forgotten how not to mask.
When I get home from work, or even when I get home from anything, if it's at the end of the day, I get stuck. When I say stuck, I mean I cannot move, or sometimes even speak.
This used to happen after I parked my car at home after a day at work. As soon as I turned the ignition off, I suddenly felt overwelmed and found that I couldn't open the car door. I've been stuck in there for hours before my wife got home to help me out and into the house.
I've recently been able to circumvent that by opening the car door and putting my feet out of the door before turning the ignition off. But as soon as I get into the house, the same thing happens and I find that I suddenly get a feeling of being overwelmed. Most of the time I thankfully manage to get myself upstairs to either have a shower, or dunk my head into a sink of cold water. Both of these essentially reset me for a few hours, letting me enjoy the first part of the evening.
After dunking or showering I always make my sandwiches for work the next day. I then usually watch a TV Show or play a computer game on my xbox. My wife usually gets home at 19:30.
Further into each evening, at around 20:00 to 21:00, I start to feel overwelmingly tired and mentally drained, and 20:00 is usually when I have my evening meal. Recently I've been feeling completely incapable of making my own dinner, and my wife has to help me make a simple microwave meal.
I usually have to dunk several times in an evening in order to cope, but I have been known to get stuck on the couch while watching a TV Show, leaving my wife to help me get upstairs and dunk.
Does anyone have any advice that they can share with any coping techniques or with anything I can do during the day to help reduce the feeling over being overwelmed in the evenings?
Thanks,
Tim
I would suggest asking your employer about adjustments to your working environment. When I was working (I recently retired) the noise, smells and lights in the open plan office started to get to me and my employers agreed I could move to a room on my own. It's not always possible, but worth exploring to see if you can reduce sensory input during the day.
What do you do at lunchtime? Don't stay at your workstation, or sit in a staff break room - get out for a walk, choosing the quietest route possible (maybe wearing headphones) or sit in your car and listen to soothing music, to give you a break.
It might be a good idea to have your evening meal earlier - eating makes your body produce dopamine and serotonin, which can help you feel better, and it's best to leave 3 hours between eating & sleeping if you can.
Hi Pixie,
Thank you for your suggestion. At lunch if I'm in the office I go out to my car to eat my sandwiches and then go for a walk around the park. By the time I get back my lunch hour is over.
If I'm at a school (I travel to various schools to provide IT Support), then I have lunch in my car before driving to the next school, or back to the office.
I eat every 4 hours as if I don't I start to feel unwell, dizzy and light headed. So I usually have my breakfast bar at 08:00 before heading to work, and then lunch at 12:00, and some more sandwiches at 16:00. My dinner is always then at 20:00. If I have breakfast at 09:00, that moves my lunch, afternoon and dinner an hour later.
My wife and I tend to go to bed at 23:00, but alot of the time I go to bed alot earlier due to fatigue.
I'll take your advice and will speak to my boss. I work for a small company and he's a very nice and fair boss so this should hopefully work.
I've been eating like this for years now and the thought of changing feels impossible
Our lifestyle makes it difficult to have a good work/life balance. Having little choice but to eat out isn't good for us, physically or mentally.
I never had a job with a proper lunch hour. This flexitime system isn't designed with us in mind. It's for those who live for the weekend.
The fact that your wife doesn't return home until half seven would even leave little time for relationship.
As pixiefox said, more protein and less carbs.
I understand about eating regularly - I eat 6 small meals/snacks a day, around every 3 hours, to stop me feeling shaky.
I did have a thought about what you're eating though, as you say you have sandwiches twice a day. Maybe less carbs and more protein might help you feel better. Yogurt is a good breakfast choice, and for snacks you could have a small portion of nuts or a piece of cheese, maybe with some fruit or carrot sticks. I only eat 1 slice of bread during the day (made into a sandwich at lunchtime) so I have most of my carbs at my evening meal. When I used to eat 3 slices of bread during the day I felt tired all the time.