Published on 12, July, 2020
I do, people seem so afraid of causing offence that they don't seem to say anything, others are a sense of offence looking for somewhere to happen. It seems that any sort of challenge however mild is a no no, even when someone asks for clarification of a point it seems that someone will take offence on sombody elses defence.
I really enjoyed Pixiefox's AI thread, but so few people seem willing or able to engage with the issues or even ask questions, why is this?
I'd love there to be threads that are lively and topics are discussed robustly, you don't have to be rude when challenging someone's viewpoint, just be firm and say something like, 'I feel that...'
I've just finished a book on the origins of the Anglo-Saxons, it goes into linguistics, DNA, archaeology as well as the documented history, I know its a bit specialist but it would be really good to feel that it's something I could share with others.
I don't miss the sort of discussion that's happened on here. It seems that every couple of months this sort of thing happens, and it rather upsets me.
Cat woman - I am not blaming you - I was a little confused by your original post to be honest, as I wasn't sure why you would mention challenging viewpoints when you seemed to wish to start a discussion about Anglo Saxons. Did you think that this would cause controversy? I can't see it myself, but I'm possibly a bit naive - however I would be interested in the subject. Perhaps you could start a new thread just called "Discussion on Anglo Saxons" and start it by telling us what you learned?
(Thank you for the compliment about my discussion thread on AI by the way. Thankfully that didn't seem to cause any problems.)
When we are posting on here, we need to keep in mind that it's difficult online to convey meaning, without any facial expression or tone of voice, and people may misinterpret or be offended by something you did not intend to offend with. I have done this myself in the past, and apologised, as a couple of people were upset because they viewed my post as "othering" or offensive to neurotypical people. It wasn't my intention, but I could see how that happened. Here's a link to the thread if you want to read it:
community.autism.org.uk/.../neurotypical-disorder---a-comparison-between-autistic-nt-minds
There are posts on this thread which could be interpreted as dismissing other people's views, or making them feel like their different view is not valid, even if that was not the intention.
I have a good friend who I hold opposite views with on a couple of subjects - we just dont talk about them. instead of trying to change the other's view or belittling it, we accept that we can each hold different views while still respecting each other, and leave it there. Plenty more to talk about that isn't controversial.
I'm not saying anyone deliberately tried to upset anyone here, I'm just saying that we need to be very respectful of other peoples ideas and views, to prevent people keeping leaving the forum. After all, when it's good, it's great.
Debbie I just read one of the threads you mentioned and if I'd of been around at the time then I owuld of responded and agreed with much of what you say and challenged many of the ideas I didn't.
Pixie, I do try and respect the views of others, and agree that there should be many topics that are not contravercial, but I've come to the conclusion that there's no such thing and what ever one posts about there will be somebody who takes offence. I do think there are some people who are a sense of offence looking for somewhere to happen, I've seen it numerous times online and in fleshyland, amoung people of all different backgrounds, neurologies and any other conditions anyone could mention. As I said to Debbie, obviously there are some thnings that will trigger others, but the otherside of being aware of that is treading constantly on eggshells and being afraid to say anything. Not being able to see facial expressions and body language are problems when interacting with people remotely, although I'm sure there are many here who don't feel confident in thier ability to read those expressions.
I wasn't tryiing to start a discussion on the Anglo-Saxons, but maybe I will now thanks to your suggestion, I was using them as an example.
I think everyone gets upset when an enjoyable thread suddenly becomes a battle ground, I think as autists our instinct maybe to duck back behind the parapet, but there are times when that becomes less possible or desirable. One of the reasons it becomes undesirable is because others take silence as agreement and this 'silent majority' become a political football for those with frequently undesirable viewpoints to use as a shield in thier attempts to other various groups of people.
I'm sorry if I upset anyone, my OP was probably not the best thought out post I've ever made, and upsetting people was never my intention.
You didn't upset me Cat, I was just a little puzzled by your OP, but I understand now.
If people have strong views I believe that challenging them with a different view will not change theirs, and as I find it difficult to control my emotions I find arguments upsetting. But I know that some people enjoy a good old "heated debate". We're all different. I know you have an interest in politics, but that's something I stopped talking to others about years ago. Life's too short to be spending it in conflict, in my opinion, but if yours is different I respect that. As I heard someone once say: "You do you, and I'll do me".