Knowing if you like someone

I am a 28 year old woman and I find dating hard for a plethora  of reasons but one that’s challenging me at the moment is knowing if I Achually like someone. And knowing when to keep dateing them or when to decide we’re not compatible. 

Due to autism- i am aware that some expectations I have arnt reasonable. However, I work on them all the time and when I really sit back and reflect, I don’t think I’m asking for too much. 

For example- someone stable, I like having them around a lot, but if it’s not all the time as much as I want I can cope. But if they arnt communicating when I will see them again, or not willing to set a date when I will see them again (dogeing makeing exact plans) or saying they will come by then I end up waiting all day. Not coming over if I ask them to, but just when they can (seems like when they want to). I end up just feeling wild hurt and unable to cope.

my family and friends tell me It’s my mindset that is getting in the way (in one way or another- I ask for too much or I am overreacting) but I feel like only I have this perspective of how much I am being hurt and thrown off by their behavior. Seince I live alone.

 I don’t hold it against them, I believe it’s ok if you’re not compatible. But I am confused on how to make decisions around if this person is not right for me? Or if I’m really being unreasonable? I know my brain works differently but I can’t seem to understand why wanting someone who’s behavior is foundationally (I know people change and arnt always perfect) set in a way that makes me cared for and safe is seen as unreasonable. Or why it seems so hard to find.

any advice or insites are much appreciated