Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, I'm 28F and I've never been in a relationship. I'm asexual and have never experienced sexual attraction, so any attempts I've ever made into dating have fallen flat when it became clear I didn't want to do anything beyond kissing and cuddling. I've tried some ace dating sites but I struggle with making conversation on there, and I think it's because the people I'm speaking to are neurotypical and don't understand that I don't like to go out and socialise as much as most people my age. Has anyone ever tried any sort of group or site aimed at matching people on the spectrum? I would like to try and see if I could find someone that understands my differences a bit better.
Welcome! There's a few like 'Hiki' but the reviews of that aren't great.
My personal advice, if you want it, would be to utilise places like this to at least get to know other autistic people on a friendly level, and then see where you go. I feel that might be best for you.
You could try sending Mark a pm. He's wonderful. (My friends have told me.) He's in Scotland, so the distance could be a problem though.
As an older gay man (53) myself, I would urge caution with online “dating” apps and websites - in my 23 years living in the U.K. alone (before my diagnosis in 2021) when I lived in Ireland and especially during my teens in the 80’s I was never really accepted by other gay men in particular, but then here in the U.K. I started to notice a very toxic (and dangerous) gay “hookup” culture that was never what I was ever after and most gay men are so cliquish, they only want sex hookups on the first date, obsessed with youth and beauty, they think that friendships and/or relationships can develop out of a hookup (but hooking up with a friend can ruin a perfectly good friendship) and so 18 years ago, I simply gave up on gay friendships let alone relationships and I’m not into “hooking up” with random people - for the same reason I don’t go cruising or cottaging as I’m not that desperate for sex, nor do I like the experience of being high on drugs nor drunk, as I don’t like losing control of all of my faculties as it’s not classy nor dignified, nor is it having self-respect