When masturbation is boring

Without the intimate connection the human brain and body has evolved to find I think you aren't experiencing pleasure, just sensation. Just my opinion.

Masturbation to porn acts like a drug. It can be addictive and habit forming and you need more, different or extreme material to get the same pleasure.

The simplest solution is to take a break. Go without for a week (or longer) and you'll find that the tamest porn is very satisfying and pleasurable. And it may reset your dopamine system to some extent so everything in your life feels more rewarding.

This is where having a second person in one's sexual relationship(s) really starts to shine...

For some reason, "Traditional" sexual mores have become very much denigraded in the media, yet actually for most people, a monogamous hetereosexual relationship delivers the most satisfaction. 

Obtaining what I want in life, I see as a skill. As I got good at it I learned that wanting the right things for the right reasons is WAY more important a skill to have if you want to be happy... I found that this applies to sex as much as anything else.

For some inexplicable reason people tell me things, they always have, so I know a great deal about other peoples private lives first hand, and over the last sixty years I've integrated all those sexual and other stories I've listened to, and it paints a VERY different picture of sex, and love to that which we are exposed to in the media.

If you are bored of masturbation, then based on what I think I know, you are ready to go and find a partner! And in this world rigt now, that's incredibly difficult...

Yet portrayed as such a simple thing. Getting a satiisfactory sexual partner for me has always involved a world of compromise, of bending my way of doing things to their needs, of doing stuff I'd really not considered ever doing etc. Learning so much stuff that seems totally unconnected to my genitals. 

But sex isn't just scratching an itch, it has a pre-designated purpose outside of making us squirm and wear a silly smile for a while.

Ultimately, sex is about making babies. Biology, has made sure that there are many aspects to sex, and that it should always be a drive until we are past reproductive age, and whilst the modern understanding of sex is all about the pleasure, biology makes it a LOT more complicated. (I use the dry term "biology" but in my head I am thinking "wonderous design of God", I've not lost my Christianity, but most people seem to have, so let's keep it secular, eh?) 

You can of course, try and get more creative with the masturbation, buy a Sybian sex machine etc, but from what I can gather that still only gets you so far... 

Here's the kicker though. 

For many people, after moving on from playing exclusively with themselves and managing to get to play with someone else, if you still measure things simply in terms of your own sexual pleasure it gets boring again... (Nearly everyone tells me or demonstrates this) 

But for some people, for whom sex is just a pleasant part of their whole relationship, it never gets boring. 

I was in my youth exposed to the idea of a relationship Triangle existing, where Love, Sex & Marriage are the three sides. I was taught to pay attention to all three sides, and that seems to have paid off in later life. 

I'm aware that some meds can mute or diminish sexual arousal, I'm not currently medicated. Although for some reason I don't seem to get the endorphin or dopamine rush, which makes sex and masturbation somewhat the perfunctory, a very limited means to an end.

As others have said that changing things up can help. Wether it's with toys or whichever type of pornography floats your boat or maybe something off your usual preference. 

Abstaining may help reset/refresh your response to these hormones.

Sex and masturbation are something that people are often weird about discussing, it's a perfectly natural act.

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I’ve been doing it for years, even though I have partner, I’m not really satisfied with sex. Self care is best for me (I’m female). Sometimes the Happy End is so strong that I get exhausted afterwards, sometimes I get panic attacks during or after physical contact with man, so maybe that’s one of the reason that I prefer being intimate with myself. As a teenager I did it few times a day even if I didn’t want it anymore. Now I rarely can have any satisfaction out of any sexual activity because of my meds (side effects) 

Doing it almost thirty-two years, now. Yes, I'm too easily aroused; sexually.

The Porn Industry is no longer clandestine. Which is unfortunate. Men need a proper relationship with a woman. However, our missions in life are wholly different. Plus, men aren't as adept at living alone as women are. We were constantly 'mothered' as young boys, and lack capability to live independently.

Sad reality of modern life. 

You read very quickly.  Impressive.

Thanks, this is more than I expected.  I'm happy to find people who are open minded.

Statements of your truth and experience.

For me, it is 10.43.   That is a statement of my truth and experience.

PANDAEMONIUM said:

Even the rush of feel good brain chemicals from climaxing wears off after a short time

That is the nature of the "fix" that you get from an activity such as this - it is similar to sex itself in that there is typically a lot of stimulation of whatever kind leading to a climax and the release of endorphins, followed by the drop from the high.

It often gets to the point with the solo version that you consume some form of stimulation to accompany the arousal stage, whether through adult video, visual stimulation (maybe voyeurism is your thing), mental stimulation (maybe reading a story about a situation that you get off to) or physical (maybe the feel of sanpaper on your skin does it for you).

This tends to become familiar with use which is why there is such a consumption of such material and often "mission creep" into related areas of stimulation (different adult video stories, different neighbour, different stories or different grade of sandpaper or even wire wool!).

The mind tends to want something familiar yet different. Same actor/actress but different partner etc - but it is worth noting that it is worth keeping this in check as it often leads to the point where the viewer of adult videos will migrate to more extreme themes in search of a new high and sometimes stray into the illegal - don't go there!

Maybe try a different approach once in a while - abstain for a week and have a blowout at the end (excuse the expression!).

Try a different form of stilulation perhaps - use the other hand, sex toys, rub against something etc.

Maybe get psychological on it - try to identify why you seek such release and stimulation. Are you using it to escape your feelings, is it a longing for a connection or are you avoiding thinking about something else? This is a difficult path as you really need a therapist to help effectively.

Maybe consider an occasional treat for something quite different. A massage (with or without a happy ending) is a good option.

Maybe look for apps that go just for hookup sessions - no relationship expected but I guess you need to be up for some unexpected interactions. I'm not sure it is wise if you are not comfortable socially with NTs.

There is a load to think about there - I suspect the mods may choose to edit this but I hope there is something in it to help.