Published on 12, July, 2020
It seems impossible for me to trust women. This is not because of being jilted via having been cheated on, several broken relationships leaving me wonder what in the blue h*** I have done, standing on a train station platform, bewildered and consequently being depressed for months on end feeling unwanted, proceeding to then start losing weight again (I'm 18st, part belly, part muscle lol), fix myself up with new teeth and so on.It is more to do with the current political climate that I see all around me. Do I go up and talk to a woman and risk being jailed? Or do I smile from afar and risk being jailed? Or do I simply stay lonely? My mother was abusive, my late Grandmother, overprotective, social workers acting upon misandry and falsehoods, libel and the like since childhood.I would like a female companion long term some day, but I have already planned to grow old alone because that seems easier. However, since my diagnosis, I am open to perhaps asking for help before I am accused of misogyny again. I am not a misogynist, I just have trust issues since my recent break up and all I want, is a best friend forever, who will love me with all of my flaws, including my impressions, maybe play some Magic The Gathering of an evening, watch Jurassic Park, play some retro games, or just a simple snuggle up with some Rick & Morty and a Pizza now and again. Evening walks just as the sun is setting etc.Anyway, enough cringe from me. It would mean a lot to me if you ladies could help me change my perspective. I really do believe in love, accepting people for who they are, despite flaws, arguing then making up again with a cup of tea and perhaps a good laugh. I will embrace a female companion who is autistic as well as I think we may get on better together with our understanding, growing up and evolving our knowledge. You never know it could have a positive impact on the world.Someone to spend time with. As I said, enough cringe from me. Remember, female responses only. This is not a dating ad, more oversharing about my want to change and move on in life, with or without a best friend.Take care and thank you for taking the time to read this.
Can I suggest going for a walk, in the countryside, or as close to that as you can get? I walk my dogs and often stop and chat with people (well I generally smile at them then we may have a quick chat). I see many, many people without dogs that walk, run, bike and occasionally some will strike up conversations with me. That way there is also a subject to start the conversation (my dogs).
Internet dating is horrible. I’ve also realised that I'm pretty much destined to be alone, but that’s because I don’t think I’m particularly good at chatting with people in any situation, until I know someone a bit better.
Forgot to add, I wouldn’t want to get someone arrested for purely chatting with me. Although I’m female, and mostly friendly, I also have a good set of lungs on me, enough to make someone think twice about doing something they shouldn’t.
I started going out for 6 mile countryside walks yesterday. I just wanted you to know that I truly thankful for your response and hopefully for not seeing my post as creepy or hateful. Your reply has helped so much you have no idea.