Published on 12, July, 2020
It seems impossible for me to trust women. This is not because of being jilted via having been cheated on, several broken relationships leaving me wonder what in the blue h*** I have done, standing on a train station platform, bewildered and consequently being depressed for months on end feeling unwanted, proceeding to then start losing weight again (I'm 18st, part belly, part muscle lol), fix myself up with new teeth and so on.It is more to do with the current political climate that I see all around me. Do I go up and talk to a woman and risk being jailed? Or do I smile from afar and risk being jailed? Or do I simply stay lonely? My mother was abusive, my late Grandmother, overprotective, social workers acting upon misandry and falsehoods, libel and the like since childhood.I would like a female companion long term some day, but I have already planned to grow old alone because that seems easier. However, since my diagnosis, I am open to perhaps asking for help before I am accused of misogyny again. I am not a misogynist, I just have trust issues since my recent break up and all I want, is a best friend forever, who will love me with all of my flaws, including my impressions, maybe play some Magic The Gathering of an evening, watch Jurassic Park, play some retro games, or just a simple snuggle up with some Rick & Morty and a Pizza now and again. Evening walks just as the sun is setting etc.Anyway, enough cringe from me. It would mean a lot to me if you ladies could help me change my perspective. I really do believe in love, accepting people for who they are, despite flaws, arguing then making up again with a cup of tea and perhaps a good laugh. I will embrace a female companion who is autistic as well as I think we may get on better together with our understanding, growing up and evolving our knowledge. You never know it could have a positive impact on the world.Someone to spend time with. As I said, enough cringe from me. Remember, female responses only. This is not a dating ad, more oversharing about my want to change and move on in life, with or without a best friend.Take care and thank you for taking the time to read this.
Hey! First of all I am sorry to read you made negative experiences with women. My relationships started completely different than yours. All men I have been with (this now sounds like it were many, but that isnt the case) were my friends before. That flirting or asking out thing never really was my thing as I do not feel attracted to people by their looks, only by their personality. If the personality is not a match I would get an ick of anyone getting close to me, so more or less special with this. A week ago I found out this is called demisexual (I am not a friend of giving everything a fancy word or a stamp as it appears since the introduction of so many new things/words people get more and more offended by things that were fine before and the more there are separations with words the more people likely get offended by the actions of others - sorry I drifted off a little).A positive effect of being a friend of someone and maybe going into a relationship afterwards is that both of you know what you are going into, kinda. Often relationships fail due to not really knowing a person. Some people get tired of each other, others think thats not the guy I got to know and they might break up, others cheat sadly. So how about you change your way you approach? Find new friends and see if there is a match. Takes pressure away and might reward you with a friend or a girlfriend. I am not able to judge the political climate as I am extremely likely not living in the same country you are living. But there is such as a small town mentality in case you are living in a smaller city. Perfect example where I am living, noticing it every day with the customers I have to communicate with. Been living in various cities and all was fine there, just this small town mentality not my thing. And not seeing you as misogynist at all. I have been called a misogynist as well due to bad experiences with women in friendships which I only stated and since years "only" have male friends, but its not a choice it is just how it is, so I get that. Id be also suspicious if I was you and then having an inner monologue with myself about not judging people by past experiences and going in all neutral and thats how I try to roll (I am not sure thats a valid saying, I keep making them up and as I am not a native speaker mistakes happen).PS: MtG is an excellent choice, playing that as well with my boyfriend.Oh and I forgot one thing as you were speaking of your optics. Personally I wouldnt care about all of that as long as a person looks cared and most women I knew prefered a "real" belly over one with muscles as it feels nicer. I do not know you neither I am able to judge anything by the clues you gave, though they were good and gave me some kind of impression, but maybe its not about the optics and its more about the way you behave. Maybe you want to approach too much which may be shown in your body language and this might look not "natural" and throw some women off? I have no idea, just going wild with ideas. I know if id notice someone tries way too hard it would push me away and that is something a lot of people agree with, I recall. But it might as well be the case that you are just unlucky. The only way to see if you were unlucky is to keep going, so dont give up. If you dont keep trying you "lost" already and thats no option. Despite all said it in theory doesnt matter what the reason is things didnt work out so far. You want someone for life, I fully agree with this mindset....and if a person is not wanting to get to know you for an odd T-Shirt or weird movement this one anyway doesnt sound like a good pick, so I personally would see it as in "things sorted themselves and its good that way, no late disappointment". So just keep going, maybe expand your area of approach (I havent found a proper word for this I am sorry).If anything I said was offensive I am sorry for it. I tried my best, but I am rather a "freestyler" when it comes to speaking and I do not always notice if I say something "bad". Things just come out of my mouth how they come out is how I usually I am which I know causes often negative reactions, so I am not very experiences with proper wording, also not a native speaker as you extremely likely noticed.
I'm not offended my friend. I am only offended when those who are preaching against hate and hate speech, are using bigoted words themselves. If there is no forgiveness and empathy for some one crying out for help to change, it tells me everything I need to know about how the world operates. Thank you for your response.