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Dating (35+ Female Reponses Only, Sorry Guys)

MrProblematic
1 month ago

It seems impossible for me to trust women. This is not because of being jilted via having been cheated on, several broken relationships leaving me wonder what in the blue h*** I have done, standing on a train station platform, bewildered and consequently being depressed for months on end feeling unwanted, proceeding to then start losing weight again (I'm 18st, part belly, part muscle lol), fix myself up with new teeth and so on.

It is more to do with the current political climate that I see all around me. Do I go up and talk to a woman and risk being jailed? Or do I smile from afar and risk being jailed? Or do I simply stay lonely? My mother was abusive, my late Grandmother, overprotective, social workers acting upon misandry and falsehoods, libel and the like since childhood.

I would like a female companion long term some day, but I have already planned to grow old alone because that seems easier. However, since my diagnosis, I am open to perhaps asking for help before I am accused of misogyny again. I am not a misogynist, I just have trust issues since my recent break up and all I want, is a best friend forever, who will love me with all of my flaws, including my impressions, maybe play some Magic The Gathering of an evening, watch Jurassic Park, play some retro games, or just a simple snuggle up with some Rick & Morty and a Pizza now and again. Evening walks just as the sun is setting etc.

Anyway, enough cringe from me. It would mean a lot to me if you ladies could help me change my perspective. I really do believe in love, accepting people for who they are, despite flaws, arguing then making up again with a cup of tea and perhaps a good laugh. I will embrace a female companion who is autistic as well as I think we may get on better together with our understanding, growing up and evolving our knowledge. You never know it could have a positive impact on the world.

Someone to spend time with. As I said, enough cringe from me. 


Remember, female responses only. This is not a dating ad, more oversharing about my want to change and move on in life, with or without a best friend.

Take care and thank you for taking the time to read this.

Parents
  • 1 month ago
    MrProblematic said:
    Do I go up and talk to a woman and risk being jailed? Or do I smile from afar and risk being jailed?

    This is a real problem for many men now and I asked my wife what her (stong feminist) thoughts were.

    She said that because many women have endured a lot of male targetting in their lives that they are always on the defensive and often get angry when confronted by mens attentions in the ways we probably grew up understanding as the "normal" way to engage in chatting someone up.

    So essentially she suggests don't go up and try to chat a lady up - instead do it in a setting where they are open to this interactions like a speed dating event or singles night.

    Forget any chatup lines you may have learned and try to be genuine with them but more than anything ask if it is ok to chat, tell them you are looking for a partner and are in the finding a "friend first" stage and could you chat to them.

    Also recommended are:

    1 - ask about them and pay attention to the answers.

    2 - talk about how you feel about the subjects you talk about. Emotional connection is important for many neurotypicals.

    3 - be willing to be vulnerable but don't let yourself be taken advantage of. By that is it ok to say you feel sad about something, but also talk about positive emotions as well. Don't go along if you don't feel the same (eg don't get pulled into pro-Palestine protests off the back of this).

    4 - be open to talking about things out of your comfort zone but be prepared to admit a lack of knowledge on it. Don't know much about breeding cats then be open to being educated...

    5 - find common ground where possible.

    6 - Don't tell them what they want to hear if it isn' the truth. If they say they want to have 6 babies with a potential husband and you don't then be prepared to move on and not waste their time and yours.

    I think that covers what she suggested. I hope some of it helps.

Reply
  • 1 month ago
    MrProblematic said:
    Do I go up and talk to a woman and risk being jailed? Or do I smile from afar and risk being jailed?

    This is a real problem for many men now and I asked my wife what her (stong feminist) thoughts were.

    She said that because many women have endured a lot of male targetting in their lives that they are always on the defensive and often get angry when confronted by mens attentions in the ways we probably grew up understanding as the "normal" way to engage in chatting someone up.

    So essentially she suggests don't go up and try to chat a lady up - instead do it in a setting where they are open to this interactions like a speed dating event or singles night.

    Forget any chatup lines you may have learned and try to be genuine with them but more than anything ask if it is ok to chat, tell them you are looking for a partner and are in the finding a "friend first" stage and could you chat to them.

    Also recommended are:

    1 - ask about them and pay attention to the answers.

    2 - talk about how you feel about the subjects you talk about. Emotional connection is important for many neurotypicals.

    3 - be willing to be vulnerable but don't let yourself be taken advantage of. By that is it ok to say you feel sad about something, but also talk about positive emotions as well. Don't go along if you don't feel the same (eg don't get pulled into pro-Palestine protests off the back of this).

    4 - be open to talking about things out of your comfort zone but be prepared to admit a lack of knowledge on it. Don't know much about breeding cats then be open to being educated...

    5 - find common ground where possible.

    6 - Don't tell them what they want to hear if it isn' the truth. If they say they want to have 6 babies with a potential husband and you don't then be prepared to move on and not waste their time and yours.

    I think that covers what she suggested. I hope some of it helps.

Children