Published on 12, July, 2020
It seems impossible for me to trust women. This is not because of being jilted via having been cheated on, several broken relationships leaving me wonder what in the blue h*** I have done, standing on a train station platform, bewildered and consequently being depressed for months on end feeling unwanted, proceeding to then start losing weight again (I'm 18st, part belly, part muscle lol), fix myself up with new teeth and so on.It is more to do with the current political climate that I see all around me. Do I go up and talk to a woman and risk being jailed? Or do I smile from afar and risk being jailed? Or do I simply stay lonely? My mother was abusive, my late Grandmother, overprotective, social workers acting upon misandry and falsehoods, libel and the like since childhood.I would like a female companion long term some day, but I have already planned to grow old alone because that seems easier. However, since my diagnosis, I am open to perhaps asking for help before I am accused of misogyny again. I am not a misogynist, I just have trust issues since my recent break up and all I want, is a best friend forever, who will love me with all of my flaws, including my impressions, maybe play some Magic The Gathering of an evening, watch Jurassic Park, play some retro games, or just a simple snuggle up with some Rick & Morty and a Pizza now and again. Evening walks just as the sun is setting etc.Anyway, enough cringe from me. It would mean a lot to me if you ladies could help me change my perspective. I really do believe in love, accepting people for who they are, despite flaws, arguing then making up again with a cup of tea and perhaps a good laugh. I will embrace a female companion who is autistic as well as I think we may get on better together with our understanding, growing up and evolving our knowledge. You never know it could have a positive impact on the world.Someone to spend time with. As I said, enough cringe from me. Remember, female responses only. This is not a dating ad, more oversharing about my want to change and move on in life, with or without a best friend.Take care and thank you for taking the time to read this.
50s autistic female here, what you say resonates to me too. All the relationships I've had, I initiated contact for various reasons. None lasted more than 3 years (my masking probably made me change to fit around them more than I liked) and all ended because I didn't like who I had become to be part of a couple with them, or they were seeing someone else and 'couldn't decide' who they preferred so I decided for them. One was really clingy, we only did things as a couple and I lost contact with friends... I was never brave enough to approach the person I liked the most, ironically enough.
I'd recommend approaching people with a fairly neutral suggestion or question. I know we are quite direct, but it takes time to get to know someone and their interests, and I've probably scared people off by being too trusting too quickly. It's risky putting yourself out there, and there is a high risk of rejection, but the more we are around people with similar interests the more opportunities we have.
The problem I find is that most people I socialise with, whether it is at work or interest groups, are already 'coupled up', maybe we should have a badge to identify ourselves... Another one is that even best friends' lives change and they move on, or their priorities change, so the relationship is constantly changing, which doesn't always suit our need for consistency. My best advice is to be content on your own, but keep trying for that wee bit extra.