Do you think you're capable to read people's face or reaction?

On the 'read the mind in the eyes' test I scored well above the neurotypical average. I am a good visual artist and draw portraits, I think this ability feeds into the ease in which I read facial expressions. I am poor at body language, however, and poor at 'reading between the lines' in conversation.

I know what you mean - it's often difficult to know what to say to someone, particularly if you experience emotional empathy which clouds your thinking.

In The Big Bang Theory, Sheldon does not know what to do or say when someone is upset, so his response is always to offer a hot beverage. Although this might sound trite, it could make the person feel cared for.

Years ago before I knew I was autistic, the father of a friend of mine died fairly young so she was pretty devastated. Other people sent her bereavement cards, but I didn't - I rang her to make sure she was home and that it was ok for me to pop over, then arrived on her doorstep with flowers for her and just sat with her and listened to her. I hope it helped.

Alienatedhuman said:

I show it through actions.

I identify with this; I am not the person who says "there, there", gets swept up in all the initial drama and buys flowers for people etc.

I don't need to be "seen" to be involved in solving someone's turbulent problem (I prefer to get on with being helpful out of being at the centre of attention).

Rather, I am the person who sees the other person's pain (often more readily than others around), may not show it externally, and yet works hard behind the scenes to find support from the most appropriate source and a more enduring, pragmatic resolution.

I can spot "it" but realise I might not be the best practitioner to apply the remedy (but I am good at engaging the help of others with the appropriate skills).

Strangely, having said all that; it is common for people to confide in me when they are struggling with something - you might say as a "sounding board" - it seems I am trusted to be a safe pair of ears(discreet).

...just do not always have the optimal communication toolbox "live" available (I need to think about it and follow up with people when I have become confident around the considered options, recommendation and practical resolution).

Hi with me I am very sensitive but can be expressionless.I am not good at hugs unlessI know someone well

Looking back at my constant misunderstandings related to reading someone’s expressions (even my husband) I would say it’s really hard for me. I can feel someone’s pain (not always) if they describe with words what they are experiencing, but with me it’s also an issue with showing empathy. I show it through actions. If I can help someone, I look for solutions to help them but I’m not so good at comforting a desperate, crying person. I rather leave to leave them alone so they can process their feelings in solitude. Only recently I found out this is not what majority expect and it actually makes me look cold and lacking empathy. While it’s the exact opposite. I just think practically- if I can’t help the person and I’m also not good at comforting them and I don’t know what to say, the best thing I can do is just leave. 

Hi everyone, hyper empathy is something I have and as others mentioned this does affect me in a negative way sometimes. I take on others emotions good or bad and they both affect me in the same way…. Holding in a wave of tears and emotion. It’s tough to manage but holding it in stops me from standing out. My wife after many years still thinks I’m emotionless even though I know it’s quite the opposite. I have been like this since childhood but just learned to hide it. My son struggles with the same thing age 9. 
Lots of emotional triggers for me include music, tv, adverts, random thoughts, others feelings and other people’s unfortunate situations. 

I love being empathetic but hate having to hold it in when around others. 

Hi Zoey.

This topic puzzles me too :-) Thanks for raising it as a discussion.

I am of the opinion that my observational skills "hard wire me" to enhanced sensitivity to identify another individuals emotional condition.  Physical posture, tone of voice et al.  Personally I am of the opinion that I am good at cognitively processing these matters because of a lifetime of working hard at doing consciously what others appear to do more automatically.  I suspect that I am very used to explicitly regulating my emotions because my implicit (more subconscious) emotional regulation has it's problems.

Regretfully masking, by conscious emotional regulation, has increased difficulty in divining my own subconscious emotional situation to myself.  So, personally I believe that my version of autism has a problem with cognitive empathy in as much as I struggle to cognitively empathise with myself than with others.

This sits in a framework of "fake it 'til you make it" versus "to thine own self be true".

The origin of subconscious emotional regulation problems can be analysed perhaps in traumatic events that are linked with autism.  Both ones that have come about because I am autistic in a neurotypical society and perhaps ones which may have somehow triggered or enhanced my autism in the first place

I find that where a significant mismatch with (shall we say) neurotypical people occurs is when and how I react with what I am aware of about them.  Both my unconscious emotional reactions and my conscious emotional reactions being perhaps weird by "normal" measurement and social behaviour.  Being, as it where, more aware of when others are faking it or being true and not having "normal" subconscious regulation of how one acts upon this information.  This can cause of distress in social interaction as the relative risk is increased for overstepping "normal" social convention with highly reactive or vulnerable people.  On the other hand more "open minded" people are better at dealing with it and indeed can value the insights that come from it.  

Ohhh same here, highly emotional but can't read between the lines. or sometimes I feeel I don't want to read between the lines (why people don't just mention it? I don't understand why it should be hidden between the line if it's important...)

I think about what I would feel if such a thing were said to me, or done to me and act from there, I don't always get it right, but I do most of the time.

Hi Zoey,

I have high emotional empathy - to the point that is is a bit of an issue. My assessor had to give me some tips about it because I take on my wife's moods very easily. Not amazing advice - just stuff like do star jumps when sad.

I get teary eyed at films, cartoons and even YouTube dog videos - especial where a child gets a new dog and cries their eyes out!

But, yes, any read-between-the-lines verbal emotion passes me by completely.

It is a fascinating subject, and I would like to know more about it - because it is so easy for a neuro typical to think that we are contradicting ourselves, because they don't get it. And because I don't really get it, I can't explain. But research is being done, I think.