Published on 12, July, 2020
I have very little knowledge about ASD. I have a 24 years old son who is very normal child. I started noticing when he was 14 that he was struggling to get friends in school. He had no problem making friends but keeping them. At very early age about 4 to 5 years old I saw him obsessed with rotating a Lego block or top of a pen with his fingers but not openly in public. I couldn't understand this and didn't do anything,but now as I am reading more about ASD I feel it could be swimming. He takes his top of pen everywhere in his pocket. He is very brilliant academically in school. He is also a high IQ as he passes the Mensa test. My worries started when he was 14 and gets bullied in high school because having no friends at all. Somehow high school phase passed and moved on to university level he was so anxious about being lonely there and he got a feeling that he has some problem with friendship. His confidence level start to fall. He started to become less interested in studies and no motivation in life. As parents we both me n my husband supported him loved him take care of him . His younger brother is there whom he likes. Even having a supportive family he got anxiety issues and his performance started to slip down academically. Now he is always on his phone and computer doing something which we don't know. Seems like online chat addiction. This he do all day alone in his room, doesn't want any interference. Late night reading some books about history and genes. Any how he passed his degree with low grades and got a job. My worries are still that he might be having very slight autistic symptoms.
1 Stim with top pot pen
2. Struggling to have friends
3 Obsessed with some kind of reading books.
I never got any reports from school teachers or nursery nurses about his behaviour since he was child.
His behaviour becomes aggressive only at home . Doesn't want to go anywhere,.no interest in buying things . strange!
Feeling helpless but now after 24 years I have strong feelings that my son has some issues ,which might not be certainly Autism।
There is quite a good list of symptoms of autism here to help you see which appear to be present - note that quite a lot are invisible so depend on the person telling you about them:
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/autism-spectrum-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20352928
Your son may not want to be assessed as some people still consider autism as having a stigma associated, and he may not want to feel as if there is something wrong with him.
Autism is a spectrum disorder which means a person can have a variety of the traits at different levels of intensity and for an autism assessment to give the confirmation of a diagnosis, the person has to reach a high enough criteria in enough of the traits to make it very impactful in their lives.
It is effectively a disability at that level.
It is also possible to be on the spectrum (we call it neurodiversity) and not be impacted enough to justify the diabled label but still have significant impact to our lives and it is worth knowing more about the condition to be able to find ways to make the impact less of a problem.
A good place to understand it better is the book:
Understanding Autism For Dummies - Stephen Shore, Linda G. Rastelli, Temple Grandin (2006)ISBN 0764525476
I think you are on the right track from the traits you mention, but it is worth knowing that the genetic element of autism is most often inherited so it is worth looking at your family on both sides to see if neurodiversity is obvious - it will certainly strengthen the arguement for a diagnosis.
Thanks for the advice.